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Now that Town & Country has finally come and gone after dozens of postponed opening dates, the biggest laughingstocks on the constantly changing film release schedule are a dueling pair of westerns - Texas Rangers and American Outlaws - that have been playing chicken on the calendar for most of 2001. Rangers, which is apparently so problematic its release has been delayed for nearly 18 months, offers a star in Dawson's Creek's James Van Der Beek (although one can only imagine the time and materials involved in fashioning a cowboy hat to fit over his massive cranium).
On the other hand, Outlaws is essentially Young Guns 3 without the marquee monikers. The most recognizable name, at least as far as the protagonists go, is Scott Caan, and the only reason you know him is because of his dad. Strangely enough, the film's biggest star is somebody moviegoers may have heard tell of but most have never seen. And now that I've finally seen Tigerland's Colin Farrell in action, I'm wondering what the big deal is.
Outlaws is yet another take on the lives of Jesse James and his band of merry men. It's the same movie you've seen again and again, but with a younger cast with which to extract money from a new generation, and it's probably historically inaccurate enough to give American History teachers a cardiac episode or two. Instead of trying to be like Tombstone and Ride With the Devil, it's more like The Newton Boys and Wild Wild West.
The film opens during the tail end of the Civil War as we are introduced to a handful of Quantrill's Rangers, a guerilla outfit that skirmishes with the dastardly Union soldiers (a la Devil's Missouri Irregulars). Leader Jesse James (Farrell), his sharp-shooting brother Frank (Gabriel Macht, Simply Irresistible) and cousins Cole (Caan, Gone in 60 Seconds) and Bob (Will McCormack) Younger all show they're quick on their feet as they drive those darn Bluecoats into a retreat. And they've even got a minority sidekick (Nathaniel Arcand), just like Guns' Lou Diamond Phillips, or Jeffrey Wright in Devil.
When they return home to Missouri, the boys learn the railroad company (led by The X-Files Terry O'Quinn and The Hurricane's Harris Yulin) is trying to buy huge chunks of land on which to extend their tracks into the great frontier. If you don't sell your land, they try you for treason, hang you and take it anyway. And, wouldn't you know it, the James' homestead is right in the way of the railroad.
So the boys start holding up banks and robbing trains, which somehow prevents the railroad from being built. What's more, they give the stolen money back to the community, like some kind of redneck Robin Hoods. And all the while they're being pursued by Allan Pinkerton (Timothy Dalton), a super-duper detective who sounds a whole lot like another guy who used to play Bond before Pierce Brosnan.
But it's not all fun and games. There's jealousy within the gang, and a growing potential for everyone to start turning on each other quicker than the houseguests on Big Brother 2. Jesse has to deal with his burgeoning feelings for a doctor's piece-of-ass daughter (Ali Larter. Legally Blonde), who's ripe for the pickin' even though she ain't kin. And what would a western be without people crashing through saloon windows (did this ever actually happen in the Old West with the consistency it does in cinematic westerns)?
I know what you're thinking - these boys all sound like Mensa candidates, but a genius with a Southern accent is harder to find than a penguin at the equator. Most of these guys don't even bother with drawls (other than Farrell's stab at covering up his Irish brogue). The Native American has more of a Southern accent than most of the white guys do. And speaking of voices sounding out of place, I thought I had mistakenly wandered into A Knight's Tale when the R.L. Burnside song started blaring in the theatre. It wasn't even a regular Burnside song, but rather one of the hip-hop versions produced by Tim Rothrock. The rest of the score is made up of guitar-heavy crap courtesy of Yes' Trevor Rabin.
The quality of Outlaws should come as no surprise if you're at all familiar with the previous work of director Les Mayfield (Blue Streak, Flubber), a man who knows his shit when it comes to absolute mediocrity. And let's not forget the writers - Roderick Taylor has penned 11 made-for-television movies, including The Gambler Part III, and John Rogers created TV's Jackie Chan Adventures. Those are some impressive filmographies from two men who include enough foreshadowing in their script to shade the entire State of Missouri.
1:30 - PG-13 for western violence
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