Planet Sick-Boy: http://www.sick-boy.com "We Put the SIN in Cinema"
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Movies about dying people suck. So do the people who make them, and the people who line up to see them. What's the point? Filmmakers keep churning them out to provide actors with a showcase to display their chops, but most are downright horrible at both pretending to die and pretending to be upset about the other person pretending to die. Viewers keep going to see these films, and they always fucking cry at the end, even though they know it's coming before they get in the car to go to the theatre. Philadelphia? An overrated piece of shit (and the worst performance to ever win a Best Actor trophy). And who wants to bet that the upcoming Charlize Theron/Keanu Reeves tearjerker Sweet November isn't going to be a complete waste of time? Any takers? I hope they find cures for cancer and AIDS just so film characters can stop dying.
Now, a comedy about dying people is a whole different ballgame. I'm not saying the Farrelly brothers should make a film about the Holocaust, or that the South Park guys tackling slavery would be a good idea (okay, I'd probably still be the first one in line), but there's definitely room in the marketplace for a lighthearted film about death. Two Thousand and None is that film. It's a smart, quirky and, most importantly, funny film about a normal guy who happens to be dying.
John Turturro (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) plays Benjamin Kasparian, a soon-to-be-divorced paleontologist who, as the film opens, has just discovered a new fish fossil important enough to make the science world reconsider what they know about evolution. He gets a lot of headaches and, after a visit to the doctor, learns he's got a brain-swelling disease called Talbot's Syndrome. Benjamin is given five weeks to live and is told that he may lose his memory and ability to hear.
Sounds like a blast, right? It is. Benjamin develops a sense of humor and an ability to be honest with everyone he knows and meets. His pals, co-workers and ex (played by Katherine Borowitz, Turturro's real-life wife) can't deal with Benjamin's impending death and think he's flipped his lid when he keeps trying to ditch them to have a good time with his remaining days. Everyone else is all, like, "But you're dying," and he's all, like, "Aren't we all?"
As his brain swells, Benjamin begins to have cool black-and-white hallucinations in reflections of various watery surfaces (a puddle, a cup of coffee, etc.). He has imaginary conversations with his dead parents, who tell him to return their remains to Armenia. And there's a whole side plot involving the cloning of Benjamin's brain, which is simultaneously amusing and disturbing.
Two Thousand was written and directed by Arto Paragamian, who, as far as I know, used to coach football at Notre Dame. It's nice to see that he's made such a successful transition from the gridiron to the screen (yeah, I know - it was Ara Parseghian). The film, which is really made by Turturro's terrific performance, isn't too bogged down with heavy messages about the meaning of life. That is, not until the end, where Benjamin begins to confront his own mortality, and Two Thousand turns into, well, a conventional film about a guy dying.
1:30 - adult language, mild violence, nudity and sexual content
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