"The Musketeer" – Sharp Swords, Dull Adaptation by Homer Yen (c) 2001
If Alexandre Dumas only knew that his most famous work, "The Three Musketeers," was going to be adapted into umpteen big screen variations, his conversation with Hollywood might go something like this: "I'll take $100,000 for every good adaptation and a million dollars for every bad adaptation." Well, with this latest effort, Dumas would be a millionaire.
Actually, that's a bit unfair, for this installment is not terrible. It's a pretty looking film. There is obviously great care taken to evoke the 17th-century French atmosphere from its verdant countryside to its beautiful castles, from the regal nobility to the gloomy street urchins. It also boasts some imaginative action sequences.
But from a story telling point of view, it's not any more rousing or dramatic than any of its predecessors. In fact, the story of the Musketeers seems so familiar that even when they sound their battle cry of "all for one and one for all," it is practically an expected occurrence rather than a spirit-lifting charge. Without new dramatic juice, it's like being served leftovers with only a new piece of garnish.
That garnish, however, is the wild sword fights. The trailers for this Musketeer adaptation have touted it as a completely reimagined piece of work, which is largely attributed to this. There are about a dozen or so battles, and the incredible athleticism displayed seemingly requires a black belt in martial arts, an ability to fence while blindfolded, as well as two years experience performing with the Cirque du Soleil troupe. It's not surprising that there are 25 stunt doubles.
The film's plot revolves around D'artagnan (Justin Chambers), who as a child, sees his parents slaughtered by the evil Febre (Tim Roth) and vows revenge. He grows up wanting to be a Musketeer, protectors of the King, and eventually learns about the machinations of Cardinal Richelieu (Stephen Rea), who is trying to undermine his highness in an attempt to seize power.
The word "Musketeer" should conjure up a vision of heroism. But Chambers-as-D'artagnan lacks neither the needed heft nor the charisma to fill the shoes of a hero. He delivers all of his lines with a similar amount of intensity whether it's "You're beautiful" or "Don't fight me, for you will die." But casting this pretty-boy suggests that the movie studio is looking to appeal to an age group that watches Dawson's Creek, who perhaps are more concerned with good looks rather than a moving story.
Yet, it's easy for D'artagnan to lose focus as during the course of his comeuppance, he meets a slew of ill-defined characters. They include a feisty ingenue and love interest (Mena Suvari); a despondent Musketeer army led by Athos, Portos, and Aramis; a sympathetic queen (Catherine Deneuve), as well as the scheming Cardinal and arch-enemy Febre. The story thus becomes needlessly complicated, saddled with unnecessary scenes.
Again, the main draw is the fight sequences, and most are neat to watch. A climactic battle atop a series of careening giant ladders, for example, is something that most American moviegoers have never seen. Yet, the action is so over-the-top that instead of achieving a sense of escapism, it becomes somewhat absurd and goofy. In one scene, D'artagnan's steed even collapses before he does.
We can live with the so-so characterizations and can likely enjoy the fighting sequences. But we needed a more compact and affecting story. Someone has forgotten that the pen is mightier than the sword.
Grade: C
S: 1 out of 3 L: 0 out of 3 V: 2 out of 3
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