THE SPECIALIST
A film review by Alex Siegel
Copyright 1994 Alex Siegel
In THE SPECIALIST, Sylvester Stallone plays a ex-CIA demolitions expert, who is now a kinder, gentler hitman. Sharon Stone plays the femme fatal, and James Woods plays the buddy gone bad.
Let me start by saying that this was a really bad movie. I'm not kidding around here, I've seen my share of lemons in my day, and this one was a true dog. What, you may ask, made it so bad? A whole lot of things.
First off, the script was laughable. Rambling, incoherent, uneven, it badly needed a few more passes through the typewriter. In particular, the dialog was criminal. It's been a long time since I've heard so many wooden lines strung together within the space of two hours. Ironically, the only character who came off as vaguely real was the drug lord. At least he had more than one emotion at his disposal.
The acting was was also poor, which is surprising considering that this is a veteran cast. Stallone, who has never had great range, was particularly uninteresting here. Even in the action scenes, he seemed tired and bored. Woods demonstrates a range of emotion: from vague hostility to full temper tantrum. Stone looks somewhat distressed from beginning to end, and never breaks into a smile. Maybe she was thinking about what this movie will do to her fragile career.
But there's more. The production values were very uneven. In almost every scene, the lighting was bad, or the sound was off. Even the explosions (and there were plenty) seemed half-hearted. At times, it looked downright amateurish. Maybe they were under a tight deadline, or maybe they just didn't care. In any event, the director should start looking for another line of work. It's interesting that Ed Wood opened on the same night. Just a coincidence, I suppose.
A few bits in particular deserve honorable mention. There is a long love scene in the middle that almost had me laughing out loud. The only word that fits is "comical." If real people had sex like these two, there would be a lot fewer babies in the world. The low point of the movie had to be the fight on the bus. Embarrassing. Throughout the scene, I couldn't shake the sensation that I'd seen it before, in about a thousand other cheap action flicks. Whoever decided to include the pregnant woman should be shot.
It's hard to think of another movie to compare this one too. CABIN BOY, HIGHLANDER II, BARBARIAN QUEEN, THE PERILS OF GWENDOLYN. These too were a frontal assault on our intelligence. Maybe some of the "Sea Quest" episodes. The mind boggles, and the stomach churns.
That's enough ranting. To conclude, THE SPECIALIST is bad, boring, and bad. Don't see it, ever.
Alex Siegel -- Alex Siegel (scimitar@netcom.com)
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