The Musketeer (2001) Reviewed by Eugene Novikov http://www.ultimate-movie.com/
"All for one... and one for all!"
Starring Justin Chambers, Mena Suvari, Stephen Rea, Tim Roth, Catherine Deneuve. Directed by Peter Hyams. Rated PG-13.
Alexander Dumas' The Three Musketeers is one of the most often-adapted literary works, and for good reason: the swashbuckler is a legend rather than just a story. Perhaps The Musketeer, a new film that "reimagines" the novel in the spirit and style of The Matrix, is one adaptation too many. It's just awful: spiritless, silly and unforgivably boring, transforming the timeless classic into a mish-mash of old-as-time clichés and incoherent, repetitive action sequences.
This time, D'Artagnan is played by Calvin Klein model Justin Chambers, who can't even pronounce his character's name. As a boy, he watched his father get killed by Febre (Tim Roth), a lackey of power-hungry Cardinal Richelieu. He vowed to have vengeance. After undergoing intense training under an expert swordsman, he goes looking for his enemy.
On his quest, he embroils himself in a struggle for control at the highest levels of the French government. The Royal Musketeers have lost their gusto, what with their jobs being taken over by the Cardinal's own guards. Only a few loyal swashbuckers remain, among them Athos and Portos (who are only figureheads in this movie). Together with D'Artagnan, they fight to extricate the Queen (Catherine Deneuve) from the traps that Febre and Richelieu are trying to plant. Oh, and as an afterthought, D'Artagnan falls in love with the poor maid at the local inn (Mena Suvari). Just thought I'd mention that.
Now, look: I don't know whose idea this was, but whoever is responsible deserves a severe tongue-lashing. I have nothing against "modernizing" classic works of literature - at the very least, they can inspire viewers to actually read the book - but films as dull as this have no positive side effects. Director Peter Hyams, known for such masterpieces of modern cinema as Timecop and End of Days, has jettisoned everything that was great about Dumas' masterwork: the sense of excitement, cause, and camaraderie. Instead, we get impressively choreographed but somehow vacuous, uninvolving action sequences that emerge from emptiness and lead to nothing. When the musketeers finally get to holler "All for one, and one for all," I could have sworn that was Dumas rolling in his grave that I felt.
Maybe the reason for the utter lack of suspense here is the Hyams's tone, which is unreasonably dark and brooding when you consider the Reader's Digest condensed version of the story that he gives us. It's as though anything that may have been construed as "fun" was purposely expunged from the production. The joylessness of the proceedings, from the oppressively shady lighting to the mechanical fight scenes, can be felt in every frame.
Chambers can't act; Suvari, Roth and Deneuve can, but aren't given the chance. And when push comes to shove, the use of stunt doubles is distractingly obvious, though at least Roth gets to play a villain without having to wear an ape suit.
Some movies seem sloppy and careless, clearly made for a quick buck. With The Musketeer we get the sense that it was meticulously crafted to be awful. The film is intricate, stylish and precise, hitting the wrong note every single time.
Grade: D-
Up Next: The Glass House
©2001 Eugene Novikov
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