THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1994 James Berardinelli
Rating (0 to 10): 4.7
Date Released: 10/28/94 Running Length: 2:00 Rated: R (Sex, nudity, mature themes)
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Matthew Broderick, Bridget Fonda, John Cusack, Dana Carvey, Camryn Manheim, Lara Flynn Boyle, Traci Lind, Michael Lerner Director: Alan Parker Producers: Alan Parker, Armyan Bernstein, and Robert F. Colesberry Screenplay: Alan Parker based on the novel by T. Coraghessan Boyle Cinematography: Peter Biziou Music: Rachael Portman Released by Columbia Pictures
THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE dares to ask the question "When approached from the perspective of a period piece with a 'name' cast, can flatulence be funny?" Unfortunately for those stuck in the audience, it also provides the answer. For, while it's entirely possible to get a laugh or two out of this sort of relentless scatological humor, there's a point at which the bodily function jokes stop amusing and start aggravating. In THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE, this happens about thirty minutes into the film, which is bad news because there's still an hour and a half to go.
Writer/director Alan Parker has designed this story, set in 1907 at the Battle Creek Sanitarium, as a satire on all sorts of health and wellness issues. Frequently, however, his more biting statements get swamped by "toilet humor." There's only so much about the bowels that any audience can take - and here we get our fill, and more: "The bowels are born again," "The bowels are our passage to health," "Clean thoughts make for clean bowels," and "Clean bowels make for clean thoughts." All that, and enemas too.
The film follows two parallel, yet rarely convergent plots. The first involves the arrival of Will and Eleanor Lightbody (Matthew Broderick and Bridget Fonda) to the sanitarium run by Dr. John Kellogg (Anthony Hopkins). Neither of them is "well", and they've come for "the cure." Will's condition is immediately diagnosed as critical, and he's put into the care of the young and sexy Nurse Graves (Traci Lind). His treatment involves frequent enemas, electro-shock baths, and flagellation.
Arriving on the same train as Will and Eleanor is a young entrepreneur named Charles Ossining (John Cusack), who has come to Battle Creek, the "cereal bowl of the world", to manufacture corn flakes. He quickly learns, however, that his partner (Michael Lerner) is more interested in living high off the hog than getting any real work done.
Why this second, generally irrelevant subplot was included at all in THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE is a question to ponder. Not only does it draw out an already-overlong film, but it never dovetails with the primary storyline. When Charles eventually shows up at the sanitarium, we expect some sort of closure, but nothing really happens.
THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE suffers from a case of reverse momentum. The first half-hour, which is moderately entertaining, passes relatively quickly. After that, however, the story's progression decelerates as tedium and inertia set in. By the end, it's hard to believe that you've only been in the theater for two hours. It seems significantly longer.
The presence of Anthony Hopkins does not guarantee a good movie (even those with short memories may recall the disastrous FREEJACK, in which he played the villain), as is illustrated here. With buck teeth and wire-rimmed spectacles, Hopkins invests a fair amount of energy in his portrayal of Dr. Kellogg, but nevertheless ends up seeming much like that part of the anatomy that THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE is overly-enamored with.
Dana Carvey and John Cusack are totally superfluous, and Matthew Broderick and Bridget Fonda are hopelessly out-of-place (they seem like modern-day refugees gamely trying to cope with being dropped unexpectedly into an era ninety years in the past). Fine actors such as Colm Meaney and John Neville are wasted in insignificant roles.
Ultimately, THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE is just too long and pointless. It's a film without direction, and the script appears less concerned with coherence than with how to get a cheap laugh from a body noise. Surprisingly, considering Alan Parker's involvement in the high-voltage THE COMMITMENTS, this picture is sadly lacking in energy. A more apt title might be THE ROAD TO DULLSVILLE.
- James Berardinelli (blake7@cc.bellcore.com)
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