THE MANGLER
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1995 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 0.5
U.S. Availability: general release on 3/3/95
Running Length: 1:46
MPAA Classification: R (Violence, gore, language, man-eating laundry
machine)
Starring: Robert Englund, Ted Levine, Daniel Matmor, Vanessa Pike,
Lisa Morris
Director: Tobe Hooper
Producers: Anant Singh
Screenplay: Tobe Hooper, Stephen Brooks, and Peter Welbeck based on a
short story by Stephen King
Cinematography: Amnon Solomon
Music: Barrington Pheloung
Released by New Line Cinema
Admittedly, with a title like THE MANGLER, you're not expecting the second coming of THE GODFATHER. Or even HALLOWEEN, for that matter. Nevertheless, regardless of how silly the name sounds and how unpromising the cast looks, it's difficult to be prepared for something this atrocious. I won't claim this is the worst movie I've ever seen--there are plenty of worthy contenders for that honor--but it's certainly among a select group, right alongside such notables as SPLIT SECOND and DR. GIGGLES.
I haven't spent much time in laundry factories, but I'm sure there aren't many of them with the near-gothic appearance of the Blue Ribbon in Rivers Valley, Maine. Presided over by the decaying Bill Gartley (Robert Englund with one of the worst makeup jobs in recent film history), the laundry has become the site of some rather unfortunate incidents. People are being gobbled up by "The Mangler", the gargantuan machine that presses and folds sheets. One woman gets caught up in the workings, splatters blood all over the place, and comes out the other end, neatly folded.
Detective John Hunton (Ted Levine) is called in to investigate. After examining the evidence--and throwing up--he pronounces the accident to be "the worst one I've ever seen." He might well have been talking about the movie itself. Anyway, it's not long before we learn that the Mangler isn't the only machine to run amok. Apparently, a refrigerator has developed some homicidal tendencies. Sitting out on a lawn (where all self-respecting refrigerators are to be found), it has already killed one person and when the police arrive, they get attacked by it. Imagine, if you will, the sight of two burly men wrestling with a refrigerator before one starts beating it up.
Hunton's friend Mark Jackson (Daniel Matmor) has an idea: perhaps demon possession is responsible for these incidents (echoes of another best-forgotten travesty: GHOST IN THE MACHINE). If so, Gartley might be looking for a virgin, so her blood can be used to release any still-untapped dark powers. So, in the interests of solid police work, Hunton begins to investigate this angle, even going so far as to inquire if a young female victim (Vanessa Pike) might fit the requirement--a great question to ask a grief-stricken witness who has just seen someone turned into a human pancake.
Actually, the overall plot isn't quite as lucid as the above description might suggest, but I've tried to condense things a little, leaving out, for example, all references to the "missing finger club" and the belladonna antacids that everyone seems to be taking. Logic obviously isn't of concern to THE MANGLER's creators. This film is a hodgepodge of the incoherent, the idiotic, and the simply awful.
There's not one element of the production worthy of even faint praise. The acting is uniformly terrible. The direction is shoddy. Set design is a cross between Dickens and ALIEN. The gore level is very high--THE MANGLER doesn't leave much to the imagination, such as what happens when a person gets forced through a quarter-inch opening.
Why are good horror films so rare? Take one look at the lack of effort put into THE MANGLER, and the answer will be obvious. It's a lot easier to come up with lifeless, hackneyed drivel like this than to expend any real effort. Unfortunately, it's movies like this that give the genre a bad name. In this case, a very bad name. Ultimately, sitting through THE MANGLER is about as appealing as getting squeezed through the machine.
- James Berardinelli (jberardinell@delphi.com)
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