A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1995 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 4.5
U.S. Availability: wide release 4/28/95 Running Length: 1:35 MPAA Classification: PG (Mature themes)
Starring: John Leguizamo, Sadie Frost, William Baldwin, Erika Eleniak,
Armin Mueller-Stahl, Joan Plowright
Director: Joshua Brand
Producer: Mark Gordon
Screenplay: Morgan Ward
Cinematography: John Schwarzman
Music: Rachel Portman
Released by Hollywood Pictures
Ever had this experience? You're at a party and someone tells a joke. It's not all that funny, but it's worth a laugh. Later, they tell it again. This time, it's not even a little amusing. And they keep at it, all through the night, to the point where this repetition becomes irritating. That's sort of what A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY is like: it's pleasant in the beginning, gradually becomes boring, then eventually degenerates into the kind of excruciating experience that will have you squirming in your theater seat.
The movie starts out as another tale of unrequited love. Sergio (John Leguizamo) is head-over-heels for Hattie (Sadie Frost), but she thinks of him as just a friend. While Sergio is content to stay in the city and work for his pastry chef boss, Mr. Linzer (Armin Mueller-Stahl), Hattie wants to travel and see the world, so naturally Sergio is anxious to save as much money as possible so he can afford to accompany her. But it's not easy to get rich on his salary.
Then one day, the pastry shop burns down, and a man comes to Sergio with an offer--take the blame for the real arsonist, his son Garet (William Baldwin), and make a quick $25,000. Sergio is uncertain until Linzer is arrested for torching the business, then he goes to the cops with his made-up version of events. From there, things go downhill. Hattie expresses nothing but anger and disappointment, and Garet turns out to be anything but grateful.
At the heart of A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY is a series of mix-ups, chief of which is the identity of the actual arsonist. We, the audience, know who it is, but at least four people confess to the crime, which keeps a steady stream of the guilty and innocent flowing in and out of jail. However, buried under all this convoluted dross is a reasonable love story. In fact, the film is supposed to be about the necessity of passion in everyone's life (with fire as an all-too-obvious metaphor). Unfortunately, there's not nearly enough interaction between Sergio and Hattie to allow A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY to succeed. It's too bad, because there is some chemistry here. Leguizamo is a likable actor, and Frost has an element of the same star quality apparent in such box-office draws as Marisa Tomei and Sandra Bullock.
A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY is one of those motion pictures that tries too hard to be offbeat. The result isn't as tedious as DESTINY TURNS ON THE RADIO, but that's not saying much. William Baldwin's over-the-top performance is jarring, especially considering how understated everything else is. But the failure of this movie isn't one man's fault--it's a combination of things, too few of which work. The lesson here is that if you're going to make a comic fable/love story, make sure it's funny, magical, and/or romantic. If it's none of the above, the stillborn result will be something like A PYROMANIAC'S LOVE STORY.
- James Berardinelli (jberardinell@delphi.com)
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