CONGO
A film review by Shaggy Bob
Copyright 1995 Shaggy Bob
Have you ever noticed that stuff happens to ya at the worst time? Is this some sorta curse someone placed on everyone? I mean take today for example. I had an experiment (no, not that kind--it was one of those science stuff) going for two days and I was about to take it off. And what happens, power goes out and I get stuck in a garage.
Speaking of being stuck, CONGO came out and I had to go check it out. It's about this gorilla who learned how to talk and this scientist dude who wanted to return her back to Africa. Of course he can't find any grants to return the monkey so he gets help from other sources.
No nakkid boobs. 15 dead bodies (and 14 same monkeys dying all over). 147 bullets. 53 on the vomit meter. No moon shots. What we got here are: Expedition-fu, skinny dippin'-fu, attack of killer chocolate craving-fu, paranoid dude in charge-fu, Mr. Ed-fu, Dr. Dolittle-fu, attack of killer fuel prices-fu, sesame seed cake- fu, air conditioner-fu, and of course attack of killer apes-fu. Drive in academy nomination for Dylan Walsh for saying stuff like "what is that?" and to Earnie Hudson for responding "when moon like that comes out, every money in two hundred miles thinks they're Elvis." To Tim Curry for saying stuff like "help me pick these up" and to Joe Don Baker after sending a group to a volcano "please use the fire extinguisher on that". And of course to Laura Linney for saying stuff like "Do you remember my promise?" One and a half star. Shaggy Bob says check it out!
Alien Alert! Did ya hear about his guy paying some one to rape his wife so he can watch? Well, the rapist got caught and the wife sued the guy. She won and was awarded $64million. I dunno 'bout you but where in the world is a sleazoid like that gonna come up with that kind of money? I sure would like to get my hands on that kind of piggy bank.
For wisdom according to Shaggy Bob, hit that Reply key now.
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