NINE MONTHS
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1995 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): ** 1/2
NINE MONTHS tells the story of a man and a woman who are celebrating their fifth anniversary of living together. As is so popular today, the couple is living together without being married and hence are being subsidized by those of us foolish enough to admit to our government that we are.
A child psychologist, Samuel (Hugh Grant) and a ballet teacher, Rebecca (Julianne Moore) are the unmarried, childless couple. Samuel is head over heels in love with Rebecca and feels that they are living in a state of bliss that is "dangerously close to perfection". Rebecca asks him if he "wants more". He thinks she means food, but she means kids. As luck would have it, her birth control proves to be "three per cent bloody ineffective".
Upon learning of the coming baby, Samuel panics, but Rebecca turns joyous. Samuel, in a running series of sight gags, keeps visualizing her as a praying mantis coming after him since he is told that the female praying mantis eats her male after a successful mating. Although crude, this reoccurring scene manages to be funny every time.
Their human gynecologist (Robin Williams) is a recently immigrated Russian animal gynecologist, and Rebecca is his first human patient. Williams is hilarious. He mispronounces every term possible and manages to keep the audience in stitches with every joke.
The director of the movie, Chris Columbus, has done many good movies, but my personal favorites of his are MRS. DOUBTFIRE and ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING. In NINE MONTHS, I am sad to report, he delivers a highly uneven movie. Sometimes the jokes work and other times, they are quite tedious.
The script, also by Chris Columbus, is based on a French movie of the same name. Columbus's script oscillated between great humor and mean spiritedness. The worst example being when two of the men starting using a baseball bat to violently beat a man in a Barney type costume.
The script did shine in parts. The ride to the hospital being the best. It was fresh, fast paced, and enormously funny. For an inside joke, watch what is on the movie marquee when they race past it in one of the scenes. Finally, if you see the picture, stay through the credits, and you will get to see the baby pictures of all of the stars.
Several of the characters were so obnoxious that every time they were on the screen you wanted to stare at your feet. The entire Dwyer family was in that category. Marty Dwyer was played by Tom Arnold at his absolute worst, and Gail Dwyer was acted by Joan Cusack who gave a miserable performance. The Dwyer children could be poster kids for Planned Parenthood. Finally, Jeff Goldblum, playing a relative of the Dwyer's, was at best watchable.
In addition to the excellent acting of Williams, I thought Grant and Moore were both quite good and believable. Everyone knows Grant's work, but people may not be familiar with Moore's. She was at her best as Yelena in VANYA ON 42ND STREET - a don't miss movie in my book.
NINE MONTHS runs 1:43. The scenes not involving the Dwyer family were well paced. All traces of the Dwyer family should have been obliterated. I give a mild thumbs up to NINE MONTHS nevertheless. The two lead characters plus Williams were worth going to see. I award the movie ** 1/2.
**** = One of the top few films of this or any year. A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = One of the worst films of this or any year. Totally unbearable.
REVIEWED WRITTEN ON: July 27, 1995
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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