BUSHWHACKED
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1995 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 2.9
United States, 1995 U.S. Availability: wide release 8/4/95 Running Length: 1:30 MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Profanity, sexual innuendo) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: Daniel Stern, Jon Polito, Brad Sullivan, Ann Dowd, Anthony Heald Director: Greg Beeman Producers: Charles B. Wessler and Paul Schiff Screenplay: John Jordan & Danny Byers and Tommy Swerdlow & Michael Goldberg based on a story by John Jordan & Danny Byers Cinematography: Theo Van de Sande Music: Bill Conti U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox
BUSHWHACKED wins the "best trailer for a bad movie" award of 1995. With its clever sendup of Sylvester Stallone's CLIFFHANGER, the theatrical preview promises a far more clever and innovative picture than it delivers. As was true of last year's winner, THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3, this is an occasion when it's far better to see the trailer and skip the actual film. Once the opening credits start rolling, it's all downhill.
BUSHWHACKED is the story of Max Grabelski (Daniel Stern), an overnight delivery courier who inadvertently becomes mixed up in theft and murder. With the police hot on his trail, Max heads for a nearby forest where, through a series of implausible coincidences, he ends up masquerading as a wilderness survival guide for a group of six young "ranger scouts" on a camping expedition. Of course, Max is unable to dump his charges and, as the story progresses, his well-hidden heart of gold emerges.
On the whole, BUSHWHACKED is the kind of film I like to describe as "offensively inoffensive." That is to say, it tries so hard to be heartwarming and likable that it ends up making the average viewer want to retch. Dramatically, the movie has all the substance of vapor. But it's really supposed to be a comedy, right? Who cares if the characters act corny as long as there are some laughs to be had? Unfortunately, BUSHWHACKED doesn't deliver there, either. This is easily one of the least funny movies of the year. If I chuckled once, it was a lot. The jokes are inane and juvenile, with a sad predictability that leeches any potential humor out of each and every one of them.
In HOME ALONE and CITY SLICKERS, Daniel Stern showed some comic potential, but if BUSHWHACKED is an indication of the direction in which his career is moving, he's on his way down a dead-end alley. Using a somewhat less pathological version of his HOME ALONE personality, Stern is suitably manic, but not especially appealing. There's an awkwardness about the character that distances him from the audience, and his budding relationship with the six children is never convincing.
There's one curious paradox about BUSHWHACKED. The film was apparently written for (and, judging by script quality, quite possibly by) children under the age of ten. However, given the PG-13 rating (for profanity and sexual innuendo), many parents are likely to reign in their younger offspring. The result is a motion picture without an audience. And, since no viewers equates to no money, this movie is likely to have a mercifully short theatrical run. For that, at least, we can be thankful to the MPAA.
- James Berardinelli (jberardinell@delphi.com)
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