DUNSTON CHECKS IN
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1996 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
DUNSTON CHECKS IN is a kids movie that tells the story of an animal various called in the movie either an ape or a monkey. To be precise an orangutan named Sam plays the part of Dunston. He is the best actor in the movie, but he has to suffer with a cliched script (Bruce Graham and John Hopkins II) and a director (Ken Kwapis) who seems lost.
Dunston is an animal owned by an evil cat bugler who claims to be a Lord Rutledge (Rupert Everett). He checks into the Majestic Hotel with the intention of stealing the jewels of the rich guests. Actually, he just identifies the rooms, and Dunston has to do all of his dirty work. Just to show you how evil Rutledge is we are shown a picture of Dunston's dead brother Samson whom Rutledge has killed for not doing what he is told him. This is one of several parts of the movie that is mean spirited and inappropriate for its intended audience, but, to be fair, most of the film is harmless.
In a take off on Leona Helmsley we have the cruel owner Mrs. Dubrow (Faye Dunaway). She comes to her hotel and demands that the first employee she meets be fired to show the employees how tough she is. The hotel's manager Robert Grant (Jason Alexander) doesn't actually fire the employee, but makes Mrs. Dubrow think he did. She shares her business philosophy with the audience in such thoughts, "I like psychotic people. They get things done." This continues our children's education, via kids' movies, in how business owners are all out to exploit their workers.
At the beginning of the show, Grant's two sons Kyle (Eric Lloyd) and Brian (Graham Sack) are up to mischief. They shoot water that knocks a fat woman into a fountain where she keeps slipping back in when she tries to get out. Most of the jokes in the movie are slapstick, and few are funny. I did like some of the wide camera angles (Peter Lyons Collister) and the art deco sets (Rusty Smith) of the hotel. These provide a nice diversion from an otherwise dismal film.
Dunston is a lovable and quite serious ape with big eyes. Seeing him dressed in one crazy costume (Eugenie Krager) after another plus his serious and soulful expressions are easily the best parts of the show. His miners outfit with his lantern on his head is my favorite. Sad to say that besides having an owner that threatens to kill him, we also get to see him smoke and learn that he is trying to give it up. Why is this in a movie aimed primarily at the 4-10 set?
Most of the movie has Lord Rutledge chasing Dunston all over the hotel while the kids hide him and while Mrs. Dubrow gets angry. Along the way we get to meet two nice little old ladies only to see them pour whiskey out of a hidden flask until they get drunk in the middle of the day in the manager's office. What is this scene doing in a kid's movie? We also get a scene of one boy urinating. Why?
The two boy actors in the show are cute but have no script with which to work. The others in the movie are all in the barely acceptable category with the exception of Rupert Everett whose theoretically funny version of an English aristocrat is so pathetic you will find yourself looking at your shoes when he is on the screen. He asks questions like, "Where do you keep your champagne? Near the furnace?", and "From the look of my soup I'd say someone in your kitchen has a serious hair loss problem." These are actually some of the better pieces of drivel the actors have to utter.
In the sight gags, we have poor Dunston, who is naturally compelling, being forced to do such silliness as drink perfume, put women's underwear on his head, and drink water that is holding false teeth. None of these setups are original or funny. In perhaps the most out of place scene in the show, Dunston gives an erotic message to a woman wrapped only in a towel. She thinks he is someone else and gets turned on by it. Remember again, the age audience that is going to see this film.
Finally, we have Pee Wee Herman listed as Paul Reubens playing La Farge. He is an animal control expert who wears lavender suits and has big shifty eyes. A strange performance to say the least.
DUNSTON CHECKS IN, wish I hadn't, runs 1:30. Thanks to meandering editing by Jon Poll, it feels much longer. It is rated PG, but it should be PG-13 for all of the above mentioned inappropriate scenes. Most of these should have been cut out anyway in a movie certain to be seen mainly by kids 4-10 no matter what the rating. I do not recommend this show to anyone. To be fair, I should point out that my son Jeffrey (age 6 3/4) liked it and gives it his usual thumbs up. At least there was nothing in it to scare him. I give the movie * solely for Dunston's potential and his great serious look.
**** = One of the top few films of this or any year. A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = One of the worst films of this or any year. Totally unbearable.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: January 24, 1996
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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