RUMBLE IN THE BRONX
A film review by Yamamoto
Copyright 1996 Yamamoto
There I was, about to save this damsel in distress and this wicked witch shows up and ruined everything. Actually, there was this cute woman lost and wanted directions. I was about to give her her the correct directions and this woman comes up and start mouthing off as if she knew it all and gave the woman the wrong information. Of course being the conscientious guy that I am, I told the woman that she just gave wrong directions and gave the woman the correct information. And they all lived happily ever after.
Speaking of stupid things people do, RUMBLE IN THE BRONX came out and I had to go check it out. It's not really an action film but a comedy packed with actions. Yes, it dubbed. Yes it does first come across like one of those late night kung fu movies. No, it's a lot funnier than you think. And no, you won't have to worry about a plot 'cause it ain't there. No, it's more entertaining than you expect.
No nakkid boobs. 4 doz bullets. 5 dead bodies. 32 on the vomit meter. 2 moon shots. What we got here are: airplane-fu, baggage- fu, Manhattan-fu, grafitti-fu, one way mirror-fu, attack of killer zit-fu, shop lifting-fu, ultimate jacket-fu, dream car-fu, attack of killer bikers-fu, wedding of the century-fu, more bikers from hell-fu, diamond-fu, attack of killer bottles-fu, forgive and for- get-fu, FBI-fu, whole lotta kung-fu and insatiable action-fu. Drive in academy nomination for Jackie Chan for saying stuff like "we should be drinking together" and to Anita Mui for saying stuff like "I should never have trusted you" and to Francois Choi for saying stuff like "you'll get use to it" and to Kris Lord for saying stuff like "I don't bargain." Two and a half stars. Shaggy Bob says wicked!
Alien Alert! Why are so many people protesting the 3rd execution in this state this decade? It cost what, $50k per year per inmate to keep 'em inside while a bullet cost what $0.10? You figure the math. Do you realize what you can do with that kind of money? May be if we save enough money, and put them in education, we won't need such extensive justice system. Ok, I can always dream can't I?
(c) 2/24/96 - Shaggy Bob
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