NOBODY LOVES ME
(KEINER LIEBT MICH)
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1996 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
NOBODY LOVES ME (KEINER LIEBT MICH) is a Felliniesque film by German director Doris Doerrie. It tells the story of a woman named Fanny Fink (Maria Schrader). Fanny is a woman who is obsessed with death and who is convinced that she is too old and will never find a man. As she says in the opening monologue to the camera, "I'm turning thirty this year. And you know the saying, a woman over thirty is more likely to get hit by an A bomb than find a man". As soon as she finished that line, I knew this film was either headed to being a successful off-the-wall comedy or a dog, but I feared it would be the later.
I should say upfront, that Schrader's is not American actress Mary-Louise Parker's twin sister, but she sure does look like her. Fanny has a severe insecurity complex. She tells the audience, "I wouldn't fall in love with me if I were you." Fanny makes a point of letting the audience know that she is not particular about the man she is looking for either. He doesn't have to be good looking, he just has to have "an apartment of his own and good health insurance". Her mother, Madeleine (Elisabeth Trissenaar), is shown to be a cause of much of Fanny's agony with such advice as, "Is your biological clock digital? Don't you hear it ticking?"
Fanny lives in an apartment complex that looks like a drug infested ghetto based on the outside and on the graffiti in the halls and in the dilapidated elevator. On the other hand, the insides of the all of the apartments look solidly middle class as does Fanny's clothing. Why the set decorator (Claus Kottmann) and the costume designer (Siegbert Kammerer) did this, I have no idea, but I did not buy it. The cinematography (Helge Weindler) makes Germany looks like the last place on earth you would want to visit. It is dark, gray, and ugly.
Fanny sleeps in a coffin she makes for herself in a class where they also have a session where everyone puts a plastic bag over their head and are told that "death is your friend." Her clothes, ear rings, and her apartment decorations are all heavily laden with skeleton motifs. Although this fascination with suicide worked in HAROLD AND MAUDE, here it comes off as a cheap way to enliven Doris Doerrie's ridiculous script.
Fanny meets and forms a kinship with a bizarre African mystic, Orfeo de Altamar (Pierre Sanoussi-Bliss), who lives in her apartment complex and whose apartment looks like a Banana Republic outlet. It seems that the occupants of the complex are all behind in their rent, so a new building manager, Lothar Sticker (Michael Von Au), comes to give them red roses to gain their trust and then turns off their water when they do not pay. Most people hate him, but Fanny decides he is her Prince Charming.
Since Lothar says that, "My car is my home where I mediate and relax", she figures that a good way to get to know him better is to drive her car into a head on collision with his while he is parked. This actually works, and he takes her to his apartment and pours her coffee while telling her, "black coffee - better than cocaine and faster."
I think Maria Schrader demonstrates significant potential by being able to shine through this miserable material. As for the other actors and actresses in this movie, if I never see any of them again, I do not think I will have missed much. The story is mess from start to finish and is filled with characters I did not care about in the least.
NOBODY LOVES ME drags on at 1:44. It is in German with English subtitles. It does not have an MPAA rating, but it is a soft R show with a little sex and nudity. It would not harm any teenager, but I do not recommend that anyone waste their time with this show. It has an interesting concept and nothing more. I give it one half of a * solely for Schrader's performance.
**** = One of the top few films of this or any year. A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = One of the worst films of this or any year. Totally unbearable.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: February 16, 1996
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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