SGT. BILKO
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1996 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 3.0 Alternative Scale: *1/2 out of ****
United States, 1996 U.S. Release Date: 3/29/96 (wide) Running Length: 1:33 MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Profanity, mature themes) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman, Gleanne Headley, Daryl Mitchell, Austin Pendleton, Pamela Segall, Chris Rock, Catherine Silvers, Eric Edwards Director: Jonathan Lynn Producer: Brian Grazer Screenplay: Andy Breckman Cinematography: Peter Sova Music: Alan Silvestri U.S. Distributor: Universal Pictures
Watch an old episode of THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW, and you'll recognize just how bad this new version of SGT. BILKO is. But, regardless of whether you're a fan of the 1950s series or not, it's doubtful you'll get more than a few halfhearted chuckles out of this lifeless retread. As envisioned for the nineties by writer Andy Breckman and director Jonathan Lynn (MY COUSIN VINNY), this SGT. BILKO should be court- martialed.
For some reason, Steve Martin, the comic force behind such delightful films as LA STORY and ROXANNE, has descended into an abyss of unfunny, unoriginal, and unappetizing motion pictures. His latest releases -- A SIMPLE TWIST OF FATE, MIXED NUTS, FATHER OF THE BRIDE PART 2, and SGT. BILKO -- have varied in quality from mediocre to downright awful. It's been a long time since Martin has done something worth watching, and, with every outing like this, it makes me wonder whether he's lost the flair he once possessed.
Even though Colonel Hall (Dan Aykroyd) is the commanding officer of Fort Baxter, the place is really run by Sgt. Bilko (Martin). If there's a scam afoot, Bilko's inevitably behind it, whether it involves a poker game, an illegal lottery, or an attempt to worm a free trip to Vegas out of the army. But Bilko's comfortable position is jeopardized by the arrival of Major Thorn (Phil Hartman), who has come to evaluate Fort Baxter's prize technological development: the $70 million hover tank. When the weapon fails miserably in a public demonstration, Thorn has an excuse to close down the base as well as stick it to his old nemesis, Bilko, whose actions once got him posted to Greenland.
Martin's Bilko can boast some of the mannerisms of the Silvers version, but that's about all the two incarnations have in common. Silvers was funny; Martin isn't. Silvers drew viewers back week after week; Martin is likely to make anyone in the audience wish they had stayed home to watch a rerun on Nickelodeon. Actually, Martin probably isn't a bad choice for Bilko; it's just that the comic doesn't invest much genuine energy into his portrayal. Whatever happened to SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE's "Wild and Crazy Guy"?
Of course, it's unfair to put all the blame for this failure on Martin's shoulders. The screenplay is an absolute embarrassment. Any of the worst original TV scripts contained more innovation and humor than this ninety-minute mixture of bad jokes and regurgitated formulas. The most clever bit in the whole movie comes as part of the end credits, when this message appears: "The filmmakers gratefully acknowledge the total lack of cooperation from the United States Army." That's as good as it gets.
This movie could be viewed as something of a SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE alumni show, with Martin, Dan Aykroyd, and Phil Hartman topping the bill. Both Aykroyd and Hartman play straight men to Martin's clown, and, as a result, all three are wasted.
Recent movie revivals have done great injustices to old TV shows. We've had DRAGNET, THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, THE FLINTSTONES, and now SGT. BILKO. The unfortunate thing is that these are just the tip of the iceberg; many more are envisioned, starting with MCHALE'S NAVY and I DREAM OF JEANNIE. If SGT. BILKO is any indication of their quality, we might as well stay home and vegetate in front of the television set. The experience will be far less disheartening than seeing Hollywood trash yet another fond memory like it has done here.
- James Berardinelli e-mail: berardin@bc.cybernex.net web: http://www.cybernex.net/~berardin (or) http://www2.cybernex.net/~berardin
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