JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO
A film review by Magus
Copyright 1996 Magus
Starring Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan
Joe Versus The Volcano is really one of the worse movies made in very recent memory. The strangest thing is that you would think nothing would go wrong with it. It has a solid cast with Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan as the lead roles. But you can never judge a movie by its cast...
If there is one good thing about Joe VS The Volcano, it is that the plot is original. Unfortunately, it is also incredibly stupid. The movie begins with Joe (Tom Hanks) going to work. This opening sequence is very boring and slow. It shows Joe walking to his office. But on the way, he has to wait in a long line passing by strange and slightly depressing scenery with obnoxious lighting. A sequence like this should take 2 minutes. Here, it takes over 5...
It is obvious that Joe hates his job. At his office, one of his co-workers is Meg Ryan. Oddly enough, she plays 3 different roles in this movie!! Joe leaves to go to a doctor's appointment. His doctor informs him that he has a "brain cloud." This means that in a few months, he will die. So what does Joe do? Quit his job, of course!!
When he arrives home, Joe meets an old man named Graynamore (Lloyd Bridges). Graynamore tells Joe that in order to get some important mineral for his company from an island, the natives need someone to sacrifice to their volcano to please their Fire God. By a startling coincidence, the boat trip to the island takes a few months. By the time he reaches the island, he will almost be dead from the "brain cloud" anyway, so Joe agrees.
Graynamore gives Joe a credit card to buy everything he needs to go on this "great adventure". Joe goes on a date with Meg Ryan, his co-worker. The day before the boat trip, Joe meets one of Graynamore's daughters. She is also, surprise, Meg Ryan. Except she looks more hippyish. They both have dinner and the next day, Joe gets driven over to his boat.
The lady that sails the boat is another one of Graynamore's daughters. And, wonder of wonders, she is also played by Meg Ryan. As they sail to the island, Meg Ryan tells Joe that the natives of the island have a craving for orange soda. After some stupid talking scenes, they also deduce that Graynamore had his doctor be the one that Joe went to. And that the "brain cloud" thing was made up!!
They do plently of cheap special effects on the boat voyage. Joe goes fishing and catches a hammerhead shark. This is a cheap gag that has been pulled off many times. But, to top it off, the shark is obviously rubber and fake!! One night there is a storm. A cheap-looking lightning bolt strikes the boat and everything is cast overboard. Fortunately, Joe and Meg Ryan manage to find some of the luggage that Joe brought to sail.
By pure luck, they get to the island. Since the natives like orange soda , they wear soda cans as attire!! Stupid or what? ;) Before Joe leaps in the volcano, he gets fed. Right before he jumps, Meg Ryan pleads him not to. When Joe decides to, she goes in with him because "she loves him". Now this is where the movie should end. But, unfortunately, the "cheesy ending" bug comes in.
The volcano blows the couple out and into the ocean where they land on Joe's luggage. They float to another part of the island as they watch lava pouring out of the volcano towards the villagers. I give this movie a * out of ****. See it only if you're a film buff that enjoys a bad movie every now and then or if you REALLY like Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan...
Rating: */****
(Any comment or disagreements on this review can be e-mailed to magus@mindspring.com)
/\/\agus
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