ROSEMARY'S BABY
A film review by Andrew Hicks
Copyright 1996 Andrew Hicks / Fatboy Productions
(1968) *1/2 (out of four)
Can you say "dated"? You can if you've seen ROSEMARY'S BABY which, like THE EXORCIST, was a thrilling horror film in its time but seems boring and laughable in the decades that have passed since its original release. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" has skewered the bad films of the past, but let me tell you, it could do a number on the "good" ones too. ROSEMARY'S BABY stars Mia Farrow (from the time she was actually good-looking) as an innocent housewife and her not-so-innocent husband (John Cassavettes), an actor who takes an easy, albeit evil, road to success.
It all seems so harmless in the beginning. Mia and John move into an apartment where several past murders have been committed. (There's also a skull in the living room, but it's only for decoration.) Their elderly neighbors pop in for a housewarming. All's well for about the first hour of this slow-moving film, until Mia eats some of the neighbors' chocolate mousse and passes out. When she comes to, she finds herself in a darkened room with a bunch of people yelling and dancing like savages and a big, evil man raping her -- a foreshadowing of her future life with Woody Allen.
It seems like a dream and, when she finds herself pregnant, she almost forgets about it. And everyone's helping with the pregnancy. The neighbors have some wonderful vitamin potions for her to drink, a good-luck charm for her to wear around her neck, and the name of an obstetrician who's been in the business 66.6 years. Meanwhile, Mia begins having chronic stomach pains and losing a lot of weight. Before too long she looks just like the lead singer of The Cranberries. That's when you know your health's failing.
The only person in the movie who's the least bit suspicious of all this is an old friend (Maurice Evans) who calls Mia up to give her the bad news -- and immediately falls into a coma. By about the two-hour mark I felt the same way. ROSEMARY'S BABY is way too long, and leads up to a payoff that's about as boring and laughable as the rest of the movie. I guess someone put a spell on this movie.
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