SHADOWS AND FOG
A film review by Andrew Hicks
Copyright 1996 Andrew Hicks / Fatboy Productions
(1992) ** (out of four)
Woody Allen is the man. We all know that. But he's not the man in SHADOWS AND FOG, which is probably overall the worst film he's ever made. Not that it isn't worth watching or doesn't have its moments, because it does. Allen has done a terrific job here of creating the visual style of the great black-and-white crime movies of the past, where a town would take on a different identity in the dead of night after all the responsible people went to bed, changing into a frightening, claustrophobic place you don't want to encounter alone.
The citizens now have a personification for the metaphorical fears of loneliness and the dark -- a strangler on the loose. It's the whole Jack the Ripper thing without the English accents. Set in the 1920's, SHADOWS AND FOG opens with a silhouette of the strangler doing his work on the latest victim and cuts to Allen's house, where an angry mob ready to take justice into their own hands demands that he join them in hunting down the killer. Allen, of course, doesn't want to go, counting himself one of the responsible people who should be sleeping at such a late hour.
But he does put his clothes on and step out into the street, making his way to the doctor's office. Donald Pleasance makes a great three-minute contribution to the movie as someone who is constantly around cadavers and is fascinated with death, a journey he makes a few minutes later as he becomes the strangler's next victim. Funny how the guy could survive five HALLOWEEN movies with Michael Myers but along comes one lousy strangler and -- POW! -- lights out.
Speaking of people who make great three-minute contributions (and I'm not talking about Woody's sex life here), the big draw of SHADOWS AND FOG is its incredible all-star cast. Mia Farrow and John Malkovich play lovers who are in town with the circus. Farrow storms out into the night upon walking in on Malkovich and Madonna doing a nude vogue and is offered free board by hooker Lily Tomlin at the local whorehouse. Farrow accepts, of course. It's nothing new to her. She's been living with Woody for ten years.
The movie turns into STEEL MAGNOLIAS for five minutes as Mia and the girls chat about life and love to a constantly rotating camera, the highlight of the conversation being when one of the prostitutes asks her what she does at the circus and Mia says she's a sword swallower. The hooker replies, "No kidding. That's my specialty too." This brothel includes den mother Kathy Bates and her #1 whore Jodie Foster, along with a young customer (John Cusack) who wants something that isn't on the menu -- Mia. The price for a helping of Farrow, we learn, is $700, which Cusack is more than willing to pay.
Mia eventually ends up wandering the streets with Woody for an hour, while a couple minor subplots develop. In the end, the strangler situation isn't even resolved. Woody padded the movie (which is still only 86 minutes long) with a bunch of needless comedic and dramatic scenes but didn't think to write an ending for the central plot. The visual world he created is great, as are the many stars, but in the end, there's no substance and very few laughs. It's like wax fruit. It looks great and you think you're getting the real thing until you actually take a bite out of it. Once again, I'm not talking about Woody's sex life...
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