FIRST KID
A film review by Scott Renshaw
Copyright 1996 Scott Renshaw
Starring: Sinbad, Brock Pierce, Robert Guillaume, Timothy Busfield, Zachery Ty Bryan. Screenplay: Tim Kelleher. Director: David Mickey Evans. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.
I suppose one cannot dismiss "Star Search" as an utter vacuum in the history of entertainment if it gave us Sinbad. You may or may not recall that The Comedian Formerly Known as David Adkins got his big break by winning the comedy competition of the now-defunct talent contest a decade or so ago, and that's almost enough to make up for giving us Carrot Top. It's hard to explain my inordinate fondness for Sinbad, except to note that I also loved Bill Cosby's stand-up, and I think of Sinbad as Cosby's natural successor in the same way Eddie Murphy can be considered Richard Pryor's. Sinbad works clean _and_ funny, and he strikes me as an incredibly decent person besides. I have always believed that some day he would justify my faith by making a great film comedy. But FIRST KID is not it.
Sinbad plays Sam Simms, a Secret Service agent with a penchant for loud ties and unconventional behavior which keeps him in low profile assignments like working security at a mall where the President's 13-year-old son Luke (Brock Pierce) goes shopping for school clothes. Little does Simms know that he is about to get up closer and more personal with Luke: when Luke's bodyguard (Timothy Busfield) is fired, it's Simms who is handed the job. That means escorting him to school, keeping track of his pet snake and generally putting up with Luke's bad attitude. It is only when Simms realizes the reason for that attitude -- Luke feels ignored and isolated -- that he decides to help Luke become a normal, all-American teen-ager.
FIRST KID is far from the first film about antagonists turned inevitably like the seasons into friends; in fact, it's not even the first film in which the antagonists are a Secret Service agent and a Presidential family member (that would be 1994's GUARDING TESS). And it's not just a formula film, it's a formula film aimed at kids, which means that clever banter is never used to establish the antagonism where a pratfall, a bare backside or plenty of messy food can be used in its place. FIRST KID even manages to combine cop movie cliches (the grouchy superior officer, played by Art LaFleur) with coming-of-age movie cliches (the first girlfriend, played by Erin Williby). Mind you, the film seemed to be perfectly hilarious to the kids in the audience, although I can't for the life of me understand why a film aimed at 12-year-olds included a cameo by Sonny Bono.
Still, as grossly predictable as FIRST KID is, I still found myself smiling a lot at Sinbad. I think he is the perfect star for a children's film, because there is something wonderfully warm and open about his screen persona. Despite standing 6'5", Sinbad is more of an over-sized teddy bear than an intimidating physical presence, and every time he grins, it seems completely genuine. He has precious little to work with in FIRST KID -- a bland mentor (Robert Guillaume), an even blander President (James Naughton) -- but the sheer force of his good nature keeps you hoping something will come along and be deserving. Unfortunately, he is stuck playing with Brock Pierce, who is pleasant enough as the timid, self-conscious Luke but doesn't have the spark to convince us he could be obnoxious enough to irritate anyone. When Luke gets in a fight with a school bully ("Home Improvement's" Zachery Ty Bryan), it should be a sort of comeuppance; instead, it's just plain sad.
I might not have had a real problem with FIRST KID if screenwriter Tim Kelleher and director David Mickey Evans had done what it appeared they were initially intending to do, which is to tell a simple, harmless, goofy buddy story with lots of physical comedy for kids. However, they make a big mistake by turning the conclusion into a suspense drama involving an attempted kidnapping of Luke (extra credit points in Cinematic Obviousness 101 if you can guess the kidnapper just from my review). They seem to feel that it is necessary to show Simms as a good agent as well as a good guy, and that is fine, but the gunplay which ensues is a bit too serious, making the last fifteen minutes somewhat inappropriate for young children. Far better to give Sinbad the opportunity to take over the film, since he was clearly the best thing they had going for them. FIRST KID is not an unpleasant film, it's just a blatantly unnecessary one. Sinbad needs to search for some better material to hang his star on. Ed McMahon would not approve.
On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 theatrical agents: 4.
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