ONE MAGIC CHRISTMAS
A film review by Andrew Hicks
Copyright 1996 Andrew Hicks / Fatboy Productions
(1985) * (out of four)
The only thing magical about this disgustingly sappy Disney movie is the tremendous sense of relief one gets when the end credits finally roll! It's one of those stupid "Miracle-at- Christmas" movies with angels disguised as drunken bums that sit in trees, granting wishes for little kids. The whole plot of this movie concerns a woman with a complete humbug attitude about Christmas, and after seeing this awful movie, I feel the same.
One year around Christmastime, an angel appears to the cute little daughter of the humbug woman and saves her from the path of a speeding car. Gideon's the guy's name, and -- get this -- he's working for Santa Claus. I guess he was laid off by God or something. They try to give her the "Christmas Spirit," although personally, I think that inebriated angel has been drinking too many of the "Christmas Spirits," if you know what I mean.
And some Christmas this woman has, too. She's fired from her supermarket checker job (Oh no! However will the family survive without mom's $4.15 an hour?!), her husband is shot and killed by a bank robber, and her kids are kidnapped by the same bank robber, who eventually drives off a bridge. Miraculously enough, Gideon is able to save the kids, but -- surprisingly enough -- he can't save the father from being shot. He recommends someone who might be able to help. That's right, the big guy upstairs -- Santa Claus himself.
But they find out Santa may be omniscient and omnipresent (you know how fat he is!), but he's not omnipotent, meaning he can't bring people back from the dead. He tells her only the mother can do that, asking her if she believes in magic. Personally, I don't, but I do believe this movie stinks.
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This review written December 1993.
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