MARS ATTACKS!
A film review by Keith Lee
Copyright 1996 Keith Lee
Well, I bit the big one this Sunday and saw "Mars Attacks" at the nearby RB Mann's Theatre and boy, was I dissappointed. What with all those big stars and grandiose FX, the writers forgot two simple parts of the story -- like plot and characterization??!!
If your love stereotypes of those who are and aren't so powerful, then you will love this movie. For example, I didn't know that most people in Kansas were pickup truck driving, tobacco chewing, trailer park living, TV watching, rifle toting, fat goobers who waved the flag and thought all Californian's were weirdos. According to this trash hash of a movie, no one who has indoor plumbing should go to Kansas. Also, did you know that every CNN-like talk show host out of the east was a vacuam head who couldn't find their rears with both hands? Same with the President and his staff: this was every Reagan/Clinton stereotype that you could think of. Everyone in the White House is a self-centered power-monger who strives for more and more fame and money no matter who gets in their way. Wow, sure makes me feel good about the ol' US of A!!
We do have some heroes and heroines in this insipid piece of garbage. The nerdish son of a Kansas guerilla fighting wanna-be saves the day with his Grandmother (put in a resthome to vegitate and be forgotten by her bible-toting bigot of a son). The president's daughter plays a cute version of Chelsey who falls in love with the long-haired nerd and helps him fight off the evil Martians. With all of these one-dimensional characters, it's a shame the Martians didn't win!!
There were some good parts in this movie. Rod Steiger played the stereotypical (in this movie, oh no) warhawk of a General who goes down fighting to his last breath. Underneath his Patton persona, he gives a speech that gives out the best attributes of rugged American individualism. Also, Jim Brown does in this movie what he has been doing in real life: reminding us how important men are to a family unit. He plays a down and out ex-prizefighter who works hard in Vegas to keep his wife and children fed and clothed in Washington DC. While Steiger and Brown couldn't help this turkey get off the ground, they gave excellent performances for two actors unfortunately forgotten by Hollywood's youth-crazed system.
Now, should I tell you how I REALLY feel about this movie?? :-)
Keith
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