MICHAEL
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1996 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
An angel as an oversexed slob. Is the world ready for this? Acclaimed director of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY and SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, Nora Ephron believes so. Her new film MICHAEL features John Travolta as an angel like you've never seen before.
Quirkiness is not funny in itself, providing only one of the ingredients from which comedies can be created. Ephron gives holiday audiences a film that is dead on arrival. Although not as miserable as her last film, MIXED NUTS, this picture is a mess. Most of the laughter you will hear in the theater comes from Travolta who thoroughly enjoys being an archangel. He and the dog Sparky give the only compelling performances in the film.
The setup for the story is that Vartan Malt (Bob Hoskins), the editor of a Chicago tabloid called the National Mirror, is on the lookout for bizarre articles. A letter from the Milk Bottle Motel in Iowa is sent to his chief investigative reporter, Frank Quinlan (William Hurt). The motel's owner, Pansy Milbank (Jean Stapleton), claims to have an angel staying there.
Frank takes his partner, Huey Driscoll (Robert Pastorelli), and a reputed angel expert, Dorothy Winters (Andie MacDowell), to Iowa to find the angel and bring him back alive. Accompanying them is Malt's dog Sparky, who has his own column in the National Mirror.
When Michael finally makes his much anticipated appearance to our three crack reporters, he is looking for his smokes and a bottle of beer. He has a two day stubble, a beer belly, dingy wings, and a hangover. Michael addresses Dorothy's confusion at his appearance by explaining, "Halos? Inner light? I'm not that sort of angel." In his room, Frank reflects to Dorothy, "It is definitely the weirdest thing I've ever seen. It like some big bird made love to his mother."
Michael agrees to go back with them to Chicago on condition that they drive so he can visit eccentric places along the way, including the world's largest ball of twine and the biggest non-stick frying pan.
Although some of his antics on the journey include yelling "battle" so he can butt heads with a bull and eating prodigious amounts of sugar, most of his escapades are sexual. He picks up whole groups of women as he goes. He justifies it with, "Remember what John and Paul said?" Frank quizzically replies, "The Apostles?" "No, the Beatles," corrects Michael. "All you need is love." Later Dorothy will explain his sexual proclivities with, "He smells like cookies, and the smell gets stronger when he is in heat." (Go ahead, before you get to the end of the review, guess what its MPAA rating is.)
In the press kit, MacDowell says about fellow actor Travolta, "John takes such wonderful chances with his character. It is very endearing the way he has this childlike quality to him." I agree, but he needed a better script that this one by the screenwriting committee of Nora Ephron, Delia Ephron, Peter Dexter, and Jim Quinlan. The visuals are shockingly cute, but the story has little energy. Hurt, MacDowell, and Pastorelli are given poorly written characters and do little with them. Hoskins overacts his meager part.
The pacing of the show is way off. Be prepared to nod off at the many slow places. Regretfully, I stayed awake. The ending of the movie is a trick. Just as in horror movies, when you think it is finally over, it isn't. After the natural conclusion point, there is another ten minutes of uninteresting "resolution." I did not care about any of the characters, so I certainly was not wild about sitting through ten more minutes while they worked out their troubles.
MICHAEL runs 1:40, but feels much longer. It is rated just PG, but contains some needless profanity, sexual innuendoes, sexual situations, fist fight violence, people dying, and a dog who gets run over by a truck. Much of this could prove confusing and frightening to some kids. My son, Jeffrey, 7 1/2, says it is an okay movie, but he wouldn't recommend it to his friends. He liked the "battle" parts, but didn't like all the kissing scenes. He gave it a thumb almost up and said it was for kids four and up. I would say six and up, but I am not sure if anyone will like the show very much. I don't recommend it, and I give it only * 1/2.
**** = One of the top few films of this or any year. A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = One of the worst films of this or any year. Totally unbearable.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: December 29, 1996
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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