TURBULENCE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1997 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): 1/2
After seeing an ad of an airplane in a thunderstorm, readers might accidentally believe that the name of the movie TURBULENCE refers to some atmospheric condition. After enduring all of this NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET meets AIRPORT, I can correct this misconception. The title refers to the state of mind of writers Jonathan Brett, Steven E. De Souza, and John Herzfeld when they composed the script.
I would like to issue a challenge to viewers of this film by director Robert Butler. Why don't you take along an abacus and try to count the number of actions that either make no sense or are just outright ludicrous? I lost track, but I know the number is in the high double digits. So that not too many more of you waste your money on this monstrosity, I will tell you several of them, but rest assured that I have just scratched the surface. If you are worried about my giving away part of the plot, I will probably not tell you much more than the trailers, but I will use many examples to illustrate my points.
Detective Hines (Hector Elizondo) has tracked down serial killer Ryan Weaver (Ray Liotta). Although Weaver is supposed to have raped and murdered five women and killed several cops, there is a question of whether Hines has planted evidence, and there is a hint of a possible Internal Affairs investigation. After Weaver is cuffed and is lying on the ground, Hines will unbelievably start kicking him in front of the other officers. (Don't forget to count.)
Weaver and another, much slimier looking criminal named Stubbs, played with all the finesse of a wrestling star by Brendan Gleeson, are being extradited to LA. They are flown across the country on a 747 commercial airplane. Weaver says, "Stubbs may be a moron, but he's a professional." The script is so bad that I was laughing very loudly at all the wrong places.
Here is a question for you. You are sitting in a plane seat. Outside your window six vans labeled "Corrections" come screeching up with their sirens blaring. Out of them jump several marshals with large guns, bringing two prisoners in chains to ride in the aircraft with you. Now, do you walk or run for the nearest exit? Trick question. You stay of course. And if you are a stewardess like Teri Halloran (Lauren Holly) who has just been jilted by her fiance, you start making eyes at the cute serial rapist.
I have lots more questions for you. Let's say you are a federal marshal and your prisoner goes to the bathroom. Do you think it is necessary to keep a close eye on him?
Soon there will be a gunfight. Holes are blown in the plane that miraculously will later seem to self-repair, but before they do, the plane will start losing control. Here are two of my favorites questions. If you are a flight attendant, do you think you might want to call the captain to tell him what is going on? And if you are the last person left flying the plane and the plane is on the verge of free-fall, do you think you'd take off your seat belt to roam around the plane to check on the rest of flight crew?
When most of the people on the plane are murdered, who is looked upon first to provide leadership? The friendly serial killer of course. As you may guess, this misguided trust will soon pass and the real hero of the tale will emerge, flight attendant Teri. She will go to the cockpit and fly the plane. Well, that is when she isn't trying to be Sigourney Weaver to Liotta's rendition of the monster. This shamelessly manipulative story titillates the audience with a never-to-be sex scene as a prelude to more violence.
The only part of the show that works has the plane heading through the thunderstorm while crisis control in LA is helping our poor heroine. Rachel Ticotin plays Rachel, the leader of the crisis center. She tries to reassure Teri by telling her, "You are flying the most sophisticated plane ever built." "Yes, but what if this sophisticated plane," asks Teri, "flies into an unsophisticated storm?"
Of all of the flaws in the show, my favorite is when Weaver is outside the thin wooden cockpit door trying to enter. Does he break it down? No, he tries to talk Teri into coming out. The piece de resistance is the crisis control center's attitude. At first they tell her to ignore him since he will kill her, but then they decide maybe it would be okay after all. She leaves to walk over all the dead bodies. Surprise, he is out there lurking in wait for her. And surprise, the scene is lifted straight out of a schlock horror film.
Halfway through this abysmal picture, I began to think of the Roman emperors. I wanted so bad to stand up, turn my thumbs down, and yell, "kill 'em all."
Let me leave you with the question that Weaver asks Teri: "You are a convicted inmate on death row. What five albums would you pick?"
TURBULENCE runs 1:43. It is rated R for gory violence, implied rape, and profanity. The show would probably be okay for older teenagers who like horror flicks. I hated this movie and recommend everyone avoid it. I give it 1/2 of a star for the special effects.
**** = A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = Totally and painfully unbearable picture.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: January 10, 1997
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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