THE PEST
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1997 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 0.5 Alternative Scale: no stars out of ****
United States, 1997 U.S. Release Date: 2/7/97 (wide) Running Length: 1:25 MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Crude humor) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
Cast: John Leguizamo, Jeffrey Jones, Edoardo Ballerini, Freddy Rodriguez, Aries Spears, Tammy Townsend, Joe Morton, Charles Hallahan Director: Paul Miller Producers: Bill Sheinberg, Jonathan Sheinberg, Sid Sheinberg Screenplay: David Bar Katz based on a story by David Bar Katz and John Leguizamo Cinematography: Roy H. Wagner Music: Kevin Kiner U.S. Distributor: TriStar Pictures
Inevitably, someone is going to ask me why I subjected myself to this experience, and the only excuse I can think of is that I'm trying to populate my "Bottom 10 of 1997" list. In any given year, the January-April period is traditionally a time when all sorts of bad movies are released. So far, 1997 has been a bonanza in that department. In just over four weeks, I've seen enough cinematic rubbish to overflow my mental recycling bin. And now, having sat through THE PEST, I may have already found my worst movie of the year.
THE PEST is apparently John Leguizamo's attempt to repeat Jim Carrey's sudden, inexplicable leap to fame with ACE VENTURA. Judging by the first weekend's abysmal box office total, his jump fell considerably short -- right into the inky pit of oblivion, in fact. By the time you read this review, it may be difficult to locate the movie in a theater - - not that you'd want to. The only reason this film might last beyond seven days is if there's a contractual obligation to be met.
It's mind-boggling to consider that movies this bad are actually committed to film. The poor quality of THE PEST in almost every category -- humor, intelligence, creativity, and just plain entertainment value -- ranks it somewhere between a bad infomercial and a local cable newscast. Rarely do I consider the act of seeing a movie to be a chore, but this kind of experience is the exception. At least I have the consolation of recognizing that watching something like this will enable me to appreciate even a mediocre motion picture. (Halfway through THE PEST, the idea of sneaking next door to watch the last half- hour of DANTE'S PEAK was immensely appealing.)
The plot -- if it can be called that -- introduces us to Pestario Vargas, a.k.a. "Pest" (Leguizamo). When the Scottish mob, run by the gruff Angus (Charles Hallahan), calls in a $50,000 debt, Pest is hard- pressed to come up with the cash. As luck would have it, a German big- game hunter (Jeffrey Jones) is looking for a Latino head to add to his human trophy collection, and he offers Pest a deal -- survive being stalked for 24 hours and earn enough to pay off Angus. So, in one busy day, Pest meets his girlfriend's parents, attends a pool party, and imitates Scotty from STAR TREK -- all while being chased and shot at.
The central attraction of THE PEST is Leguizamo (last seen in Baz Luhrmann's ROMEO AND JULIET), but, despite a seemingly endless supply of energy, he manages to strut his way through the entire movie without generating one good laugh. He tries repeatedly, shamelessly pilfering gags from sources as diverse as Peter Sellers and the Three Stooges, yet somehow he manages to strip each of its humor. When Inspector Clouseau leaned on a globe, it was hilarious; when Pest does it, it's not even worth a snicker. For Leguizamo, this is embarrassing. His "man of a thousand faces" routine (accompanied by an equal number of unfunny accents) is so irritating that it can engender an immediate and passionate dislike for the character. We're supposed to be astonished by the quickness and ease with which he sheds one personality and takes on another, but this uninspired grandstanding is a pale shadow of what more gifted comics (like Steve Martin and Robin Williams) are capable of. Someone should inform the actor that goofy costumes and manic energy do not automatically equate to humor. After sitting through THE PEST, I'm beginning to gain an appreciation for Jim Carrey.
This really isn't a coherent movie -- it's a bunch of juvenile skits strung together for a painfully long eighty-five minutes. There's no film making skill evident in the job accomplished by director Paul Miller. His method of operation seems to have been to let Leguizamo mug it up constantly and hope for the best. What he got was an unmitigated disaster. In truth, this film has to be seen to be believed. It's the kind of movie where every paying customer deserves to receive a handwritten apology from the producers.
So, without further ado, let THE PEST take its rightful place in the motion picture Hall of Shame, right alongside such unforgettable recent classics as THE MANGLER and ADRENALIN.
- James Berardinelli e-mail: berardin@bc.cybernex.net ReelViews web site: http://www.cybernex.net/~berardin
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