BODY OF EVIDENCE
A film review by Chuck Dowling
Copyright 1997 Chuck Dowling
Body of Evidence (1993) NO STARS out of ***** - Cast: Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Joe Mantegna, Anne Archer, Frank Langella. Directed by: Uli Edel. Running Time: 99 minutes.
First of all, let me explain again that I do not care for films which rely heavily on sexual scenes. It's not that I'm a prude or anything, far from it actually. Sex in movies is boring. It has nothing to do with the film itself. The plot's moving along, then sex happens. You wait for them to finish up, and then the story can continue.
Even putting that bias aside, erotic thrillers are always poorly written, with unsympathetic characters. It's difficult to like a film when even the "good" characters are just as sleazy as the bad guys. "Body of Evidence" is a perfect example of this type of retarded filmmaking, and easily joins the list of the worst movies I've ever seen.
"Body of Evidence" stars Madonna, who has just about perfected the art of making bad films. She plays Rebecca Carlson, a severely disturbed dominatrix who will sleep with anyone to ensure she gets what she wants (she added some singing and remade this film as "Evita", you might recall). She is accused of murdering her elderly, extremely wealthy lover. The plot twist here is that she's on trial for killing him with sex. You see, the old man had a heart condition and their sex session were quite intense.
Enter the worst lawyer on the planet, Frank Dulaney (Willem Dafoe). Frank is a good family man with an attractive wife and a young son. After Frank has gathered up what he considers enough evidence to defend Rebecca, the trial begins. After the first day of testimony, Frank and Rebecca have dinner together and then he drives her home. Instantly the two are having sex (he must really love that family of his). And this isn't your average sex encounter either. It involves scolding hot candle wax dripping onto his flesh, and he's actually aroused by it. A few days later after court, Frank and Rebecca have sex in the parking garage of the courthouse (!) on a pile of broken glass (!!).
Eventually, Frank's wife gets word of what is happening between Frank and Rebecca and throws him out of the house. Frank reacts to this by immediately going over to Rebecca's house, handcuffing her to a tree, and raping her. This is our hero ladies and gentlemen!
All that's left after the ridiculous sex scenes are the courtroom scenes, and they are equally ridiculous. First, Madonna must have had a clause in her contract which states that if she acts poorly, everyone else must be worse in order to attempt to make her look good. Everyone gives bad performances. Then you've got a judge who finishes unknown euphemisms which are begun by the lawyers in their arguments. Also, you've got the dumbest courtroom audience ever assembled. Every word of testimony shocks them and they must discuss everything amongst themselves. After so many outbursts, the judge clears the court. The next day, the crowd is allowed to return. They didn't learn their lesson though, as they keep causing a ruckus until they get thrown out AGAIN.
The final scenes (if you can even make it to the final scenes) are SO inane that I can't even begin to describe them. But the very last shot is the most disturbing, when Frank's wife welcomes him back WITH OPEN ARMS! Come on! I'm just thankful that there was no "Love Theme from Body of Evidence" by Madonna, or any songs by Madonna for that matter. [R]
-- Chuck Dowling Visit Chuck's Movie Reviews at http://users.southeast.net/~chuckd21/ Over 1,600 movies rated and/or reviewed! Movie news, film related links, and reader's reviews.
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