THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
[Spoilers]
A film review by Chuck Dowling
Copyright 1997 Chuck Dowling
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) ** out of ***** - Cast: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, David Morse, G.D. Spradlin. Written by: Shane Black. Directed by: Renny Harlin. Running Time: 120 minutes.
*** This review does contain spoilers. ***
"The Long Kiss Goodnight" is yet another failure from director Renny Harlin, who's career once showed promise, peaked with "Die Hard 2", and has gone downhill steadily ever since. He, along with his wife Geena Davis, deliver another big budget waste of time without a shread of intelligence (see also: "Cutthroat Island").
Geena Davis is absolutely wrong for the role of a former ruthless government assassin who was the victim of a hit herself and suffered amnesia as a result. She now believes that she's a school teacher with a normal life, complete with a daughter and a boyfriend. The daughter is actually hers, as she was two months pregnant when she was attacked. This all changes one night when she hits a deer on the highway (in just about the most realistic "car hitting a deer" scene I've ever witnessed). After the accident (which one day it seems she'll be hospitalized for a long time, then she's basically out the next day) she starts to recall things from her former life.
She enlists the aid of a shady private detective (Jackson, in a funny performance) after some of her old personal belongings are found. The two set out to find out her true identity, but the "bad guys" find out she's still alive and soon are in pursuit.
Before I address all the ridiculousness of the film, I will point out the things I did like. Samuel L. Jackson gives another good performance and should be proud of his work in the film. The action scenes are well-staged (however completely implausible). And deep down, the story had potential. However, there is not enough good here to overlook the bad.
It takes Davis' character about an hour to realize who she is, something which the audience knew before the film even began just by seeing the preview. I don't like knowing more than the characters in the film and then have to watch them figure it out. That's why I can't ever watch TVs Columbo.
Then, in the first hour, there's all this "extra dialog", like this was a Tarantino movie or something. At one point while Jackson and Davis are driving somewhere, he notices an attractive woman and makes it known that he finds her attractive. The two of them then have a discussion about men and why they look at women and etc. etc. There's a lot of that in the first hour, and it's out of place.
During the final scenes, they use a cliche that's SO overused I can't even believe its still allowed to be used. After the bad guys capture Davis, who is now completely her assassin persona, the actually devise some sort of ridiculous scheme to kill her instead of just putting a bullet in her head. In true James Bond fashion they lock her in a freezer so she'll eventually freeze to death. Now on top of that, she actually says to the main bad guy, "Since I'm going to die anyway, why not tell me the entire plan." And then he does! And then she naturally escapes! Come ON! And on top of THAT, it turns out that this whole thing is about the CIA being responsible for all the terrorist attacks here in the United States since the end of the cold war, just to get a budget increase! Now I know the government is corrupt, even downright evil at times, but COME ON! This is ridiculous! News like this would shut down the government and cause revolts, and in the end its just simply another news story.
There are other little "picky" details I had a problem with. For example, its mentioned that Davis' accident happened 8 years ago, in 1992. So, this is taking place in the year 2000? Is that right? Hmmm. Also, actor David Morse is AGAIN wasted in a nothing role. When will someone realize this man is talented and give him a major role? I mean besides Sean Penn? Anyway, it's just a shame that given the money and supposed talent involved here that nothing more than a silly little action film came out. [R]
--Chuck Dowling
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