THE SAINT
A film review by Michael John Legeros
Copyright 1997 Michael John Legeros
(Paramount)
Directed by Phillip Noyce
Written by Jonathan Hensleigh and Wesley Strick, from a story by
Jonathan Hensleigh
Cast Val Kilmer, Elisabeth Shue, Rade Serbedzija, Valery
Nikolaev, Henry Goodman, Irina Apeximova
MPAA Rating "PG-13"
Running Time
Reviewed at General Cinemas at Pleasant Valley, Raleigh, NC
(04APR97)
==
Oh, where to begin? This morning-after mess of a movie, starring Val Kilmer as the latest screen incarnation of Leslie Charteris' gentleman thief, is billed as a "romantic thriller." Meaning, and when translated into a language that test audiences can understand, a movie with an action hero who talks about his feelings. That's right-- a roguish, real *James Bond* of a character who mouths "I love you" and makes goo-goo eyes and, Heaven help us, has a moral crisis before screwing somebody's brains out. All of this would be fine, of course, if we could believe even a minute of any scene starring Elisabeth Shue. The Academy Award-nominated actress is horribly miscast as the intro- verted, poetry-sensitive, cold-fusion scientist with, get ready, a heart condition. (I'm going to spoil the surprise: one scene puts the pair in handcuffs, with Kilmer palming her pills on the sly! Hilarious!) Her best worst moments are when she looks in the direction of the camera, wearing an expression of vacancy as glaring as a neon sign.
THE SAINT is preposterous in other places. A couple of Kilmer's disguises are absolute howlers. (His long-haired Spaniard is pretty funny. As is his buck-toothed Nutty Professor.) Every Russian somehow speaks English. A later sewer sequence makes no sense. (Where in the Hell did they find those flashlights?) And, in an equally far-fetched climax, a mob of thousands miraculously understands the significance of a miraculous energy source. Oh, and let's not forget that coda! The final fifteen minutes of this movie have to be seen to be disbelieved. More sex. Another of Shue's laughably vacant stares. Kilmer getting cutesy. An encore presentation of the Jerry Lewis disguise. And, even, a botched joke involving the theme to the television series! (Hint: listen closely.) Rates higher than lousy, though, for production values and location photography, both of which are exemplary.
Grade: C-
--
Mike Legeros - Movie Hell http://www.n-vision.com/hell/
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