KILLER CONDOM
[KONDOM DES GRAUENS]
A film review by James Berardinelli
Copyright 1997 James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 3.5 Alternative Scale: *1/2 out of ****
Germany, 1996 Running Length: 1:47 MPAA Classification: No MPAA Rating (Sex, violence, profanity) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1 Shown at the Philadelphia Festival of World Cinema, 5/8/97, 5/9/97, & 5/10/97
Cast: Udo Samel, Peter Lohmeyer, Iris Berben Director: Martin Walz Producers: Ralph Dietrich, Harold Reichebner Screenplay: Ralf K=F6nig, Martin Walz, and Mario Kramp based on the comics=
by K=F6nig Cinematography: Alexander Honisch In German with subtitles
Penises are being severed left and right. Is Lorena Bobbit on the loose? No, the crimes are actually being committed by the killer condoms, nasty little creatures that look like genuine prophylactics, but, when applied, open wide and chomp down on whatever happens to be between their teeth (I will refrain from making all sorts of off-color, completely obvious jokes at this time). This sort of activity is guaranteed to put a damper on safe sex.
At the Hotel Quickie in New York City, strange things have been happening. Men and women go in, but the men come out missing a critical part of their anatomy. The cops, led by the improbably-named Detective Macaroni (Udo Samel), are called in to investigate. Macaroni, who is gay and proud of it, discovers that staking out the Quickie offers a few fringe benefits, but, when he and a boy-toy are getting down to business in one of the rent-for-an-hour rooms, Macaroni learns firsthand what has been causing all the damage. Fortunately for him, he zigs at the right moment, and only loses a testicle. After recovering from his wound, he mounts an all-out crusade against the killer condoms -- only no one believes his story. That is, until a Presidential Candidate (who becomes known as "Dickless Dick") has a similar encounter.
Is KILLER CONDOM campy? Of course, and the film, which is based on a comic book, is intended to be so from the first frame. The problem is, this is basically a one-joke movie, and the effectiveness of that joke wears off pretty quickly as the penis count mounts. Almost all of the laughs happen during the first fifteen minutes; after that, it's a long, often-tedious run to the end credits. There are several entertaining, but not terribly original parodies (hard-boiled cop stories, JAWS, and PSYCHO), but all these offer is a moment's diversion.
One of the most unintentionally amusing aspects of the film is its choice of language. The entire film takes place in New York City, yet everyone is speaking German. While I'm sure this might seem quite natural to the German audience for which the movie was made, it's pretty funny for an American. Of course, Hollywood has been doing a similar thing for decades. How many movies have been filmed in foreign countries where all of the natives amazingly speak English, albeit with a very bad accent?
In the midst of the lunacy, KILLER CONDOM delivers an anti- homophobic message with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer applied to a glass window. Humor can be an effective tool for highlighting bigotry and social injustice, but it needs to be a little better thought out than what's presented here. The "Sermon on the Mount" at the end is too much even for an over-the-top motion picture of this sort.
Of some interest to U.S. viewers of KILLER CONDOM is how the German film makers see American society. During the movie, we are presented with numerous examples of a cynical perspective of American culture, morals, and, most notably, politics (although perhaps no more scathing than that of some American satirists). Everything is a stereotype, of course, but these attitudes are instructive in illustrating how American society can appear to those on the outside looking in.
As expected, the killer condoms represent the silliest aspect of the whole production. Despite being designed by H. R. Giger (who created the look for the creature in ALIEN), the tiny creatures have not been effectively realized by the special effects team, and, as a result, look rather cheesy. Ultimately, although KILLER CONDOM is fairly gory, unbelievably silly, and unmistakably outrageous, it's not as enjoyable as it should be. There's no doubt, however, that it belongs in the "so bad that it's good" category and has the potential to amass a cult following.
- James Berardinelli e-mail: berardin@bc.cybernex.net ReelViews web site: http://www.cybernex.net/~berardin
The review above was posted to the
rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup (de.rec.film.kritiken for German reviews).
The Internet Movie Database accepts no responsibility for the contents of the
review and has no editorial control. Unless stated otherwise, the copyright
belongs to the author.
Please direct comments/criticisms of the review to relevant newsgroups.
Broken URLs inthe reviews are the responsibility of the author.
The formatting of the review is likely to differ from the original due
to ASCII to HTML conversion.
Related links: index of all rec.arts.movies.reviews reviews