BARB WIRE
A film review by Paul-Michael Agapow
Copyright 1997 Paul-Michael Agapow
An adaptation of the comic of the same name: It is the 2nd American Civil War, with the rebels fighting the brutal Congressionalists. In the neutral city of Steel Harbour is a club run by the mercenary Barb Wire (Anderson). To the city come the rebels Axel Hood (Morrison) and Cora D (Rowell), who need to escape to neutral Canada, the Congressionalists hard on their heels. But Axel and Barb have a history together ...
... and where better to find a way out of the country than at Rick's Cafe Americaine, where anything can be bought or sold, even the corrupt Inspector Renault? Yes, it's "Casablanca" but this remake was aided by modern technology and a few search and replace expressions:
s/Casablanca/Steel Harbour/; s/Rick Blaine/Barb Wire/; s/Ilsa Lunt/Axel Hood/; s/Victor Lazlo/Dr Cora D/; s/the fat man/the fat man/; s/papers of transit/retinal lens/; s/the train from Paris/the helicopter from Seattle/; s/"As Time Goes By"/generic thrash/; s/piano-playing black sidekick/butler-like German sidekick/; s/Nazis/Congressionalists/; s/cult classic/nork fest/;
There are differences, such as the regrettable absence of Ugarte. (Was Pee-Wee Herman busy that week?) Also regrettable is the fact that Morrison affects an American accent instead of his native New Zealand-ish: "Bub Ware! You've gut to hulp us!". Cora D is no Victor Lazlo, so it comes as no surprise that Axel/Ilsa is helping her not for any leadership skills but for an antidote she has coded in her DNA (an apparent side-effect being atrophy of the charisma gland). Steve Railsback, once a promising actor, demonstrates his career has gone straight to hell with his portrayal of the frothing Colonel Pryzer. Quick trivia: the bouncer at Barb's club is played by Tom "Tiny" Lister Jr., who is also the President in "The Fifth Element".
The big surprise is everyone's favourite silicon based lifeform, Pamela Anderson. A walking cartoon character herself, she shows a reasonable skill and style as an action star which is used to effect in the first half of the film. A four-colour nightmare in leather and high-heels, her targets die as much from her bullets and kicks as they do from amazement at the tensile properties of modern fabrics. Regrettably as the "Casablanca" theme emerges, the energy starts to slowly leave the film. An even bigger blunder is the replacement of the end of "Casablanca" with a generic action sequence, with Barb roaring offscreen on her motorcycle as Axel goes mano a mano with the Congressionalists. (Picture Rick Blaine saying: "Ilsa, here's a gun. Go and pop some Nazis. I'm just going to check down the back of the club ...")
>From a modestly promising start, "Barb Wire" heads slowly off course and into blandness. Nonetheless it might make acceptable if undemanding video fodder, and Anderson's next film may prove interesting. [*/misfire] and lime green as a fashion statement on the Sid and Nancy scale.
"Barb Wire" Starring Pamela Anderson, Temuera Morrison, Victoria Rowell, Udo Kier, Steve Railsback. Released 1996.
------ paul-michael agapow (agapow@latcs1.oz.au), La Trobe Uni, Infocalypse [archived at http://www.cs.latrobe.edu.au/~agapow/Postviews/]
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