CATS DON'T DANCE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1997 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): ** 1/2
"No animals were harmed during the making of this movie. Although some were erased and had to be redrawn."
-Final Closing Credit
CATS DON'T DANCE is a cartoon musical featuring song and dance numbers by animated animals with a story in-between. The film had a brief run in the secondary theaters and is now playing in the bargain basement chains before moving to video.
Distributed by Warner Brothers, the film has all new cartoon characters, but most are takeoffs on older real actors. The all too cute human figure named Darla Dimple (speaking voice by Ashley Peldon and singing by Lindsay Rideway) can be thought of as Shirley Temple's evil twin. She is so mean that she eats the heads off of all of her animal crackers.
The script was written by the committee of Mark Dindal, Robert Lence, Brian McEntee, Rick Schneider, David Womersley, Kelvin Yasuda, Robert Gannaway, Cliff Ruby, Elana Lesser, and Theresa Pettengill. For such an amalgamation of writers the style is amazingly consistent. The surprise in the approach is that the dialog is written at a much higher level than in most kids' movies, which is both a blessing and a curse. The adults will find more of interest, but the little kids may be lost, especially in the story's many allusions to older films, like GONE WITH THE WIND, and film stars (Cary Grant, Laurel and Hardy, Bette Davis, and W. C. Fields). The dialog tends to be more clever than funny. ("I hear that hippopotamuses are very big on Broadway," says Tillie Hippo, voice by Kathy Najimy. "Hippos are big everywhere," retorts another animal.)
The musical numbers are full of color and glitz worthy of old Busby Berkeley numbers. The animation uses a palate heavy on the roses, pinks, and pale blues, and the images are drawn more for bold imagination than realism.
The story opens with a cat named Danny (voice by Scott Bakula) leaving Kokomo on a bus for Hollywood. He has a five day plan for making it big in motion pictures. ("See you in the Movies," being his favorite expression.)
Once he gets to Tinseltown, he faces discrimination because he is an animal. He gets a one-line part ("Meow") in the latest Darla Dimple movie. When Danny tries to upstage the star, her bodyguard Max (voice by Mark Dindal), who has a body like the Rock of Gibraltar and a head the size of an orange, throws Danny out.
Danny spends the rest of the movie as a virtual warrior in a sort of Animal Liberation Front. "If we all work together, we can make our dreams come true," he tells the animals in a classic pep talk. "Let's show the world what we can do."
Some of the scenes may prove too dark and serious for younger kids. Danny's girlfriend Sawyer (speaking voice by Jasmine Guy and singing by Natalie Cole) does a sad, but pretty, singing number in the rain.
Many of the scenes need crisper editing by Dan Molina. And Director Mark Dindal seems too infatuated with his obsession with mimicking Hollywood of old to concern himself properly with the show's timing.
After a razzle-dazzle musical ending complete with battleship guns, we are shown a set of movie posters from TWISTER to BATMAN AND ROBIN to FREE TILLY with the show's animals in place of the normal leads. CATS DON'T DANCE is a highly forgettable romp of a movie which can best be described as, well, cute.
CATS DON'T DANCE runs just 1:15. It is rated G and has little other than a few ominous images to offend anyone. Jeffrey, age 8, thought the film was "excellent," and he especially liked Danny. His friend Amara, age 5 1/2, liked the film too but got a bit scared when Max chased Danny. A close call, but I do recommend the film and give it ** 1/2.
**** = A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = Totally and painfully unbearable picture.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: June 1, 1997
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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