LEN DEIGHTON'S BULLET TO BEIJING
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1997 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
Harry's new boss, Alexei (Michael Gambon), warns him, "I'm not being overly dramatic, Mr. Palmer, when I say the fate of the world is in your hands,". Harry reassures him that he has saved the world a few times already.
Yes, Harry Palmer is back.
For the fifth time, Michael Caine plays Harry Palmer, the Columbo of the spy set. This 1995 movie is called LEN DEIGHTON'S BULLET TO BEIJING so that you are absolutely sure who wrote the novel upon which the movie is based. (After last year's WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S ROMEO AND JULIET, what is next? GOD'S THE TEN COMMANDMENTS?)
I've never read the book, but I hope that it has more emotional impact that the lackadaisical script by Peter Welbeck. It is so weak that a few more cliched lines would have been an improvement. Only the presence of the great Michael Caine makes it even minimally watchable. The action sequences are lame (read cheap) and have little impact.
The setup for the hyperbolized plot starts simply enough with Palmer in the second year of watching the North Korean Embassy in London. Nothing ever happens so he whiles away the time arranging trysts on the phone with his lover.
One day all hell breaks loose at the embassy and someone is killed. Before he can get his investigation off the ground, he is laid off from his position of thirty years as a British intelligence agent. Although he looks nothing like a spy, with his dark horned rimmed glasses and his dotty manner, Alexei hires him and flies him to Russia to find who, probably the North Koreans he figures, stole "The Red Death."
One drop of The Red Death (drum roll) can mutate and wipe out an entire city of 1,000,000. That's big time death.
Harry starts wandering the streets of St. Petersburg asking old friends he meets if they know where The Red Death might be. The implausibility of this all is overwhelming. One half expects him to take out an advertisement in the newspaper: Reward, in U.S. Greenbacks, for any information on the party or parties who have removed The Red Death from its rightful owner.
The flat dialog never sounds plausible even taken in the context of a spy movie. Director George Mihalka sets a languid pace that drifts from one uninteresting event to another. Curling up on the sofa to watch this video will cure most people's insomnia. Those who stay awake for the entire movie are less fortunate.
LEN DEIGHTON'S BULLET TO BEIJING runs 1:41, but you'll swear it is longer. It is not rated but might be PG-13. The film contains very brief nudity and cartoonish violence. It would be fine for teenagers and perhaps those a bit younger. I do not recommend the show and, out of respect for Michael Caine, give it a single star.
**** = A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = Totally and painfully unbearable picture.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: June 15, 1997
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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