A SIMPLE WISH (Universal) Starring: Martin Short, Kathleen Turner, Mara Wilson, Robert Pastorelli. Screenplay: Jeff Rothberg. Producers: Sid, Bill and Jon Sheinberg. Director: Michael Ritchie. MPAA Rating: PG (mild profanity) Running Time: 90 minutes. Reviewed by Scott Renshaw.
I have a theory that, in an earlier stage of development, the premise for A SIMPLE WISH went something like this: Murray (Martin Short), who aspires to being the first male fairy godmother, turns out to be completely inept at the job, but an affirmative action mandate forces the godmothers to admit him. This would be before the real-world affirmative action debate heated up, forcing controversy-shy Universal executives to drop that angle entirely.
The theory, I'll admit, is based on no evidence in the version of A SIMPLE WISH which actually made it to the screen. The alternative, unfortunately, is that the story never made a shred of sense at _any_ point in its development. It's the kind of exasperating kiddie fantasy where stuff just happens, without any character, story or internal logic to guide it.
Of course, the stuff which does happen may be plenty to satisfy young viewers. In the course of his repeatedly bungled attempts to help young Anabel Greening (Mara Wilson) turn her father (Robert Pastorelli) into a Broadway star, Murray gets caught in an iron gate, causes a wind storm to sweep a teacher down a school hallway, turns a redneck into a 50 foot tall rabbi, turns a horse into a mouse and has the father's chief rival begin vomiting up frogs at an inopportune moment during his audition. Meanwhile, evil excommunicated godmother Claudia (Kathleen Turner), who has an axe to grind and magic wands to steal, has fun with computer graphics, rendering folks either two-dimensional or extremely pliable depending on the whim which seizes her.
The special effects are, admittedly, temporarily distracting. When they stop, however, A SIMPLE WISH borders on the unbearable. Martin Short, who should be taken only in small doses even on his best days, turns Murray into a flinching, snorting and generally annoying creation without a glimmer of charm. Mara Wilson, who was so appealing in last year's delightful MATILDA, barely registers here at all, while Francis Capra registers far too often as Wilson's big brother. There is not a single likeable character in the film, turning every scene into a long wait for some kind of goofy visual effect to snap you out of your stupor.
All of these problems make the gaping hole at the center of the film all the more evident. A SIMPLE WISH is based around a high-concept premise -- a male fairy godmother, and an incompetent one at that -- yet not once is there any attempt to explain why he wanted to be a fairy godmother, how he managed to become one, or why no one is keeping an eye on him. In fact, A SIMPLE WISH is comprised of nothing but missed opportunities and half-developed ideas. What goes on at the fairy godmothers' convention which takes place during the film? Does it matter that Murray is using a broken wand for much of the film? Why not make more use of the complicated rules of fairy godmother-hood, which apparently are so abstruse that Murray has to carry around a cheat sheet? And why does Claudia's assistant Boots (Amanda Plummer), who is supposed to be a dog turned into a human, look instead like a refugee from "Cats"?
Time and again, A SIMPLE WISH wanders from scene to scene as though blissfully unconcerned about arriving at anything resembling a point. Then again, maybe someone got cold feet and stripped it of its point. It's more charitable, I think, to imagine the darkly satirical film A SIMPLE WISH might have been than to dwell on the muddled mess it turned out to be.
On the Renshaw scale of 0 to 10 wanded men: 2.
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