Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)

reviewed by
Bill Clark

Speed 2: Cruise Control
                           An AYNTK Review
                             Bill Clark
Rating: Blows Goats
Speed 2: Cruise Control, has it all:
        Spunky Deaf Kids
        Really Slow Elevators
        Wooden Fire Doors

Crazy guy wants money AND revenge, (hey, it's the '90s; you CAN have it all). Decides to rip-off diamonds from a floating jewel show on a cruise ship. Hapless, unengaging but spunky characters are put at risk. Lame performances. Crappy effects. A poor knowledge of physics (watch the oil tanker explode like an atomic bomb!)

This is the kind of movie that Chuck Norris would have made 15 years ago, except there would be two dozen bad guys and plenty more excitement.

The leads are bad, but the supporting characters are worse. You will find yourself not caring what becomes of them. If you absolutely must see a movie with bad actors having misadventures on an ill-fated ship, rent "The Posidieon Adventure." At least the boat is upside down in that one.

The AYNTK (All You Need To Know) Review Series is dedicated to providing the movie patron with a brief, completely biased assesment of whether or not current theatrical releases in Singapore are a total rip-off. Recent video releases may also be reviewed.

Ratings Scale (Best to Worst):

Thoroughly Enjoyable---Enjoyable---Take it or leave it---Blows---Blows Goats

copyright Bill Clark 1997

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