For details of my reviewing style, please see the note at the end of the review.
BATMAN AND ROBIN
Rating: 2.0 and $1.00
What an incredible waste of 130 valuable minutes of my life. I absolutely cannot believe how devoid of entertainment value this "film" proved to be. Sure, Batman is derived from a comic book, so one should expect a comic book-like movie. But this was senseless drivel.
George Clooney was almost a competant Batman. He had the poise and roughness one expects from a Batman. I was completely nausiated by his sad attempts to be boyish and cute, however. And he seemed unable to resist doing his little "I can't understand what you just said to me because I am an airhead" head twist at every plot turn.
All other characters (with one exception noted below) were sad, sorry attempts at believability. Uma Thurman dragged every line out like her lips were stuck in slow motion. Apparently she thought this made her somehow sexy. She didn't do a thing for me. Chris O'Donnell played an immature, whiney, idiotic Robin who would fall for every painfully obvious ambush and not learn a thing from it. "Ahnold" was terrible. At one point his dialogue broke down to him babbling something similar to "kill them, yes yes, kill them! I want you to crush them! Kill them! Haha! Kill them, yes yes!" on and on. The rest of his performance wasn't much better.
I had hoped for so much from Alicia Silverstone. Every movie in which I see her, I hope it will finally be the one to make me attracted to her. Once again, however, she played an irresponsible, bratty baby. Moreover, she was auxilliary and unneeded in this already bloated film.
The only character that entertained me (and why this movie didn't get an even lower rating) was Bane, played by Jeep Swenson. He portrayed an excellent big dumb grunt. He made me show my only emotional reaction during the whole film (which happened to be laughter).
As far as the movie itself goes, the plot is weak, there are too many major characters, and the script is painfully dumb.
At least once during this movie I found myself drifting off to sleep. That isn't entirely abnormal. The part that surprised me was when I realized that, had I gone to the cinema alone, I wouldn't have cared if I slept through the rest. I would now like to publicly thank my friend(?) who convinced me to shell out $7.50 for this grand turd of celluloid.
Do not see this movie unless it is playing on the in-store screens when you are looking for another video to rent. Certainly do not see it in a theatre.
I give two ratings: An arbitrary scale of enjoyability (1 to 10) and a maximum price I would pay to see the movie.
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