HOW TO BE A PLAYER
A film review by Chuck Dowling
Copyright 1997 Chuck Dowling
How To Be A Player (1997) NO STARS out of ***** - Cast: Bill Bellamy, Bernie Mac, Gilbert Gottfried. Written by: Mark Brown and Deetria Johnson. Directed by: Lionel C. Martin. Running Time: 98 minutes.
Wow, a film without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm amazed that someone thought this was a story that must be told on screen. Many blacks in Hollywood complain that they are not nominated for awards based on their race. I think first they need to concentrate their energy on themselves, and stop making movies which makes them look like nothing more than sex-crazed buffoons. Even I'm offended by it.
Bill Bellamy is a "player" which means he sleeps with a lot of women and lies to them. What a pleasant main character. One day, his friends decide that they want to find out how to be a player. Why they decide this "one day" I have no idea. How many years have they been friends and why all of a sudden would they want to learn? Anyway, Bellamy agrees to teach, and his wonderful lesson to his friends consists of letting them ride in his car while he rides from house to house having sex with women. This is the bulk of the film folks, guys riding from house to house, one keeps getting out to have sex, while the others sit in the car.
Since Russell Simmons is producer, and since the official title of the film is "Def Jam's How To Be A Player", I was ready to be jumping up and down and stomping my feet and beating the person next to me because of the comedy. Amazingly, aside from Gilbert Gottfried's 90 seconds of screen time, there was no comedy in the film for me to express myself in such a manner. Instead of jokes, there's just an endless stream of profanity and naked breasts (and naked breasts aren't so bad, but naked breasts alone don't make a good movie).
Be sure to bring along your ebonics to english dictionary as well. Gilbert Gottfried's character serves as one in his very brief appearance, asking for explanations as to what is being said. They should have brought him along for the entire film. [R]
-- Chuck Dowling --
Visit Chuck's Movie Reviews at http://users.southeast.net/~chuckd21/ Over 1,600 movies rated and/or reviewed! Movie news, film related links, and reader's reviews.
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