EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU (1996)
A Film Review by Chuck Dowling
Copyright 1997 Chuck Dowling
Everyone Says I Love You (1996) ** out of ***** - Cast: Alan Alda, Woody Allen, Drew Barrymore, Lukas Haas, Goldie Hawn, Gaby Hoffman, Edward Norton, Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Tim Roth, David Ogden Stiers, Billy Crudup. Written and Directed by: Woody Allen. Running Time: 101 minutes.
You know, there's a reason musicals aren't made anymore. They don't work. Anyone remember "Newsies"? Why Woody Allen has tried one is beyond me, as "Everyone Says I Love You" doesn't work either.
There really is no plot to the film. Edward Norton (playing a younger Woody Allen, which gets annoying since Allen himself is also in the film) wants to get married to Drew Barrymore to the delight of her parents (Alda and Hawn). That's it. To fill time, just about everyone gets to sing. And I believe everyone except Barrymore (who was overdubbed) has their own song to sing.
Usually I prefer Woody's films which he actually appears in over the ones where he doesn't. Not in this case however, because Allen's character is so unnecessary to the film. His character's subplot is absurd. How's this sound: Allen lives in Paris, and his daughter lives in New York. One day, his daughter happens to overhear Julia Roberts talking to her therapist. For no reason, she takes detailed mental notes. Now, cut to Venice. Allen has taken his daughter on vacation. They are having dinner and who happens to walk by but... Julia Roberts! Allen's daughter then tells him everything that Roberts likes, so he can be her perfect man. Allen then tries to woo her (and succeeds? What the...?) The thing is, the daughter giving him information that she heard Roberts tell her therapist. She was telling her therapist about stuff like her favorite flower. Is that what you'd talk to your therapist about? Your turn-ons and turn-offs, getting so specific as your favorite flower? Between this contrived subplot and the dozens of musical numbers, none of the characters can be developed and therefore there's no story.
I just don't like the concept of the musical. Wouldn't it perplex you if you were having dinner with someone and all of a sudden a musical number broke out? At one point it seems like one of the characters is about to acknowledge this singing oddness, but it doesn't pay off. But just because it's a musical isn't why I dislike it. There's no story to the film, and only a few laughs. Although, a dance number at the end of the film with Hawn and Allen is incredibly well staged.
You will get to see some things you've never seen in a Woody Allen film before, aside from the musical numbers. There's a few seconds of some black people! There's almost a car chase/action sequence! There's computerized special effects! But there's no story!
And not to be crude, but I have to mention something. Watch for the scene where Tim Roth and Drew Barrymore talk out on a balcony or something. It won't be hard to miss Barrymore, because either it was 30 degrees on the set that day or she's auditioning to be the model for Schumacher's next Batsuit. (The password is: massive nipple protrusions). [R]
-- Chuck Dowling --
Visit Chuck's Movie Reviews at http://users.southeast.net/~chuckd21/ Over 1,600 movies rated and/or reviewed! Movie news, film related links, and reader's reviews.
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