MASTERMINDS
A Film Review by James Berardinelli
RATING (0 TO 10): 2.0 Alternative Scale: * out of ****
United States, 1997 U.S. Release Date: 8/22/97 (wide) Running Length: 1:45 MPAA Classification: PG-13 (Violence, profanity) Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Patrick Stewart, Vincent Kartheiser, Brenda Fricker, Brad Whitford, Matt Craven, Annabelle Gurwitch, Katie Stuart, Tom Abrahams Director: Roger Christian Producers: Robert Dudelson, Floyd Byars Screenplay: Floyd Byars based on a story by Floyd Byars & Alex Sisken & Chris Black Cinematography: Nic Morris Music: Anthony Marinelli U.S. Distributor: Columbia Pictures
Patrick Stewart must be tired of playing Captain "always right and proper" Picard in the mega-successful STAR TREK franchise, because, over the course of the last month, he has let his hair down (figuratively, of course), bared his fangs, and played blood-curdlingly nasty characters in two different movies (the other instance of this is in CONSPIRACY THEORY). Even at his most vicious, Stewart maintains a debonair style and sly wit that automatically make his villains more interesting than the run-of-the-mill sort. Unfortunately, in MASTERMINDS, the distinguished actor is literally the only worthwhile piece of flotsam bobbing around on a sea of hackneyed sewage.
MASTERMINDS is bad. Unfortunately, it's not bad in a freespirited, campy sense -- it's bad in a way that makes it painful to endure. This is one of those motion pictures where I found myself looking at my watch with increasing regularity, wondering about the virtues of walking out on the film, and praying that the projectionist would accidentally leave out a reel or two. (Plot-wise, such an omission wouldn't have mattered -- the movie is so obvious that it would have been simple to guess what was missing.)
Director Roger Christian, whose resume highlights several virtually-unknown features, is obviously a big fan of DIE HARD, since this film is the most blatant rip-off I've seen, right down to all the little plot devices (like the walkie-talkie communication with an ally on the outside). The film also has more than a dash of TOY SOLDIERS (where the attendees of a boys' school were taken hostage) thrown in, but the primary inspiration was clearly the 1988 Bruce Willis thriller. In fact, Christian and screenwriter Floyd Byars are so aware that they're stealing from DIE HARD that they even include a line to that effect ("We have a DIE HARD situation here!").
Actually, it's possible to re-use the DIE HARD material effectively; my complaint with MASTERMINDS is that it manages to ruin things at every turn. Instead of this being a pulse-pounding rollercoaster ride of adrenaline, it's a pointless bore. Everything that was special about DIE HARD has been negated here by careless writing, bad acting, and pedestrian direction. Aside from Stewart, the only thing that kept me interested was trying to figure out what kind of bizarre accent Brenda Fricker uses.
The film opens with some "character development" scenes that illustrate, using Hollywood's vision of illegal computer savvy, the hacker expertise of Ozzie Paxton (Vincent Kartheiser). Ozzie is a rebellious, reclusive teen who comes from a broken home (his mother ran off) and who constantly fights with his step-mother (Annabelle Gurwitch) and step-sister, Mel (Katie Stuart). He has one friend, another computer geek who works with him to pirate software and sell it at cut- rate prices to the kids at school.
One day, when Ozzie escorts Mel to her snobbish private school, Shady Glen, he gets caught in a video game come to life. Shady Glen's security expert, Raif Bentley (Stewart), has come to the conclusion that a way to make a lot of money is to take a school full of rich kids hostage. So, using all the technology at his fingertips (including Shady Glen's "foolproof" intruder system, which he designed), he kidnaps over 100 children, a group of teachers, and a hard-as-nails principal (Brenda Fricker), then demands a $75 million ransom. Unfortunately, Raif hadn't counted on Ozzie being a "fly in the ointment."
As far as I can tell, there are three rules that must be followed for any action film to attain a degree of success. MASTERMINDS violates them all. The first is that the movie must maintain some level of credibility; this film gives new meaning to the term preposterous (for example, no one gets hurt or even seriously injured, despite numerous explosions and one electrocution). Second, the action must be exciting and there must be a sense that the protagonist's life is in danger. Nothing could be further from the truth here, where the big scenes are just excuses to blow things up.
Finally, and most importantly, it's necessary for the audience to develop a rapport with the main character. In MASTERMINDS, that's difficult, if not impossible, because Ozzie is such a snot. As the movie progressed, I kept hoping he would get shot or crushed or incinerated. I never liked him, and if there's any reason to root for Raif, it's because he has such an obnoxious opponent. Kartheiser, who was last seen in ALASKA, has mastered the ability to really annoy a viewer. One-liners from Bruce Willis are fun; one-liners from him are jarringly out-of-place.
MASTERMINDS represents the pinnacle of action movie tediousness, the kind of film that makes me yearn for mediocrity. By comparison, the moribund SPEED 2 zipped along at a breakneck pace. This film appears to have been written by a member of the target audience, and possesses a grade-school intelligence level (ironic, considering the title). Hopefully, MASTERMINDS will die a quick box office death. That way, there will be no need to entertain thoughts of a sequel -- something that the final scene clearly has in mind.
Copyright 1997 James Berardinelli
- James Berardinelli e-mail: berardin@mail.cybernex.net
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