THE LINEUP
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1997 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): **
As their plane zips across the continent, the older criminal coaches his protege in the use of the subjunctive. Dancer, played by Eli Wallach, thinks it makes no sense to say, "If I were you," but his mentor Jacob, played by Robert Keith, assures him that the subjunctive is just what he needs to mask his identity perfectly. They will never expect a crook to use the subjunctive.
Yes, it's B movie time. In 1958, writer Stirling Silliphant -- whose name sounds like a playful pseudonym but who is actually the Academy Award winning writer of IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT -- and director Don Siegel gave the world the imminently forgettable THE LINEUP. Based on a popular TV series of the time, the trite dialog sounds like lines "Dragnet" would have rejected for not having enough punch. Greenwich Village's Film Forum theater is having a series called "The Killers B's," and THE LINEUP is one of the many offerings.
The plot has possibilities, but the execution is quite risible. The movie opens with San Francisco Opera Company executive Mr. Dressler, played dapperly by Keenan Wynn, arriving on a boat from the Orient. In a Rube Goldberg style series of events, a porter steals Mr. Dressler's bag and tosses it into a taxi. The taxi then runs into a truck, veers away killing a policeman, and finally runs into a ditch, killing the taxi driver. The TV series's hero, Detective Lieut. Ben Guthrie, played with excessive seriousness by Warner Anderson, and his sidekick Inspector Al don't know what to make of this mayhem.
It turns out that the taxi driver was no cabby at all, but "one of the best wheel men on the coast." And Mr. Dressler's suitcase contained a figurine with enough heroin in it "to supply every addict in San Francisco for two weeks." The conundrum is whether Mr. Dressler knew about the heroin or not. He acts strange, but is that his normal demeanor or is he hiding something? In a typically implausible scene, Ben goes angrily to the head of Customs to complain that the inspectors were falling down on the job by letting the heroin come through. Remember, this was a time of low technology and hence especially easy smuggling.
The show is laced with "memorable" lines. When they inspect the dead cabby's apartment, Al condemns it with, "No self respecting witch would bring a broom into this trap." After Dancer and Jacob take hostages, Jacob explains to the woman hostage that, "Ordinary people of your class don't understand the criminal's need for violence."
Aside from laughing at the dialog, the film provides other pleasures, the chief one being that of seeing key San Francisco landmarks -- War Memorial Opera House, Steinhart Aquarium, and others -- as they looked forty years ago.
Toward the end, the plot takes some interesting twists before it dissolves into a formula chase scene. "If you want to live, Mac," Dancer tells his new wheel man. "You'll get us out of here and get us out of here fast." And fast it is with cars screeching around the corners of San Francisco streets.
So why didn't I mention the lineup you ask? Because it was there but was so inconsequential to the story line that it wasn't even worth bringing up.
THE LINEUP runs a blazingly fast 1:00, which is about the right length. It is not rated but would certainly get a G. Saturday morning cartoons are more violent, and drugs are only mentioned but not shown. Kids of any age could watch it, but anyone less than 12 would probably not understand the humor in it all. The film is not quite worth recommending, but it is fun to laugh at. I give it **.
**** = A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = Totally and painfully unbearable picture.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: August 16, 1997
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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