The Relic (1997) A movie review by Serdar Yegulalp Copyright 1997 by Serdar Yegulalp
CAPSULE: Claustrophobic, flashy-looking and occasionally neat thriller about a... monster?... that gets loose in a museum. Good for audiences that talk back.
Tom Sizemore is turning into one of my favorite actors to look forward to. He's been watchable and interesting in everything I've seen him in so far, and that includes THE RELIC, a flashy piece of noise about some kinda critter that consists mostly of teeth making all hell break loose in a museum. It's either your cup of tea or it isn't; the movie won't win any converts to the genre, but is decently entertaining, and has all the right ingredients. It's ALIEN crossbred with fill-in-the-blank, and that's innovation for you in today's film market.
Sizemore's character, D'Agosta, is a superstitious cop, and that instantly sets up a cute (albeit manufactured) tension between him and Margo Green (Penelope Ann Miller). She's an evolutionary biologist who doesn't believe in the boogeyman, but monsters like the one in this movie have a way of making people into believers. Actually, she understands how it's been created -- the science in the story is fast and loose, but what the hell, at least it's THERE -- but is still scared of it. You would be, too.
The creature actually has an m.o.: it hunts and kills to consume the hypothalamus of the victim, since the gland in question provides a hormone that the creature needs to evolve. Or survive. Or something -- I decided it wasn't important; after all, the gland can only manufacture hormones when it's in a warm and breathing creature. Ripping it out and eating it would be only good for a quick fix, apparently, and maybe not even that.
But comments like this are like saying SE7EN was too dark and rainy: they're beside the point. The movie is about action and movement and shocks, and it has all of them. It also has some viciously convincing special effects, and a student of same would do well to check out the movie for no other reason. But while you're at it, look at Sizemore. He has that look on his face that shows there's someone at home, even when the script treats him like a piece of furniture. I walked out wondering when I'd get to see him lead in a movie where there wasn't something trying to rip open his head and eat it.
Two and a half out of four fungial spores.
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