ROCKET MAN
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 1997 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): *
If you've seen the trailers for Disney's ROCKET MAN that have been bombarding the airwaves lately, you've probably reasoned with yourself that the film cannot possibly be as bad as it looks. Actually, it's worse.
Some movies are so stupid they are good -- the most recent example being Disney's GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE. ROCKET MAN, on the other hand, starring Harland Williams as Pee Herman without the charm, remains insufferably inane. If Harland Williams possesses any comedic talent, it is not in evidence in this lame farce. Only his imitations of old movie stars demonstrate any acting ability.
Harland plays software nerd and would-be astronaut Fred Randall. As the movie opens, Fred appears as a youngster spinning around in his mother's dryer. As he looks out the door's window, he imagines himself on a mission in space. (That this might encourage young kids to try this at home is one of the show's many questionable decisions.)
As an adult but decidedly not a grown-up, the wild-haired Fred comes in to help NASA find the problems in the software he designed for the first manned mission to Mars. "A glitch?" he says when confronted with possible bugs in his code. "That's not possible. I programmed it myself."
Not long after he arrives at the astronaut training center, he is asked to go on the flight to Mars. During his training, he manages to set endurance records for physical strength, all the while almost killing others with his slapstick klutziness.
The male astronauts invite Harland over for drinks and get him so drunk that he does embarrassing things -- although no more so than in the rest of the story. The only female astronaut, Julie Ford (Jessica Lundy), comes over to rescue him. "I think someone drunk like this is wrong," she tells her male coworkers. Again, in a film whose target audience is young kids, this whole sequence is wrong.
To be fair, the script by Greg Erb and Craig Mazin would have been unwatchable with just about any actor playing the lead. The constant sight gags include people slipping on vomit, flatulence in a space suit, snot-encrusted space helmets, and the ubiquitous falling down routines.
The one joke that did hit home was Harland's training session on a gyro-like simulator. ("Sweet, swirling, onion rings!") Having passed on this simulator when my son and I went to space camp last year, I knew just how he felt.
"I'm 30-years-old," Harland tells us. "I'm almost a grown man." Almost.
ROCKET MAN runs 1:32, but feels longer. The show is rated PG for some of its questionable humor. The show is targeted at kids under 10, but consider my warnings about the appropriateness of some of the scenes. My son Jeffrey, age 8, said he thought the picture was "really good," but went on to complain that the film was "a little too stupid at times." I hated the movie and can barely give it a single star. Oh yes, there is an epilogue at the end of the credits for those of you who cannot get enough of ROCKET MAN.
**** = A must see film. *** = Excellent show. Look for it. ** = Average movie. Kind of enjoyable. * = Poor show. Don't waste your money. 0 = Totally and painfully unbearable picture.
REVIEW WRITTEN ON: October 9, 1997
Opinions expressed are mine and not meant to reflect my employer's.
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