Mars Attacks!
Chad'z rating: **1/2 (out of 4 = OK)
1996, PG-13, 106 minutes [1 hour, 46 minutes]
[comedy/satire/science fiction]
starring: Jack Nicholson (President Dale, Art Land), Pierce Brosnan (Donald Kessler), Martin Short (Jerry Ross), Jim Brown (Byron Williams), written by Jonathan Gems, produced by Tim Burton, Larry J. Franco, directed by Tim Burton, based on the Topps trading card series.
seen on home video by myself on Saturday, October 11, 1997 at 7 p.m.
It's funny how a punctuation mark can make or break a movie. From title alone, you'd think "Mars Attacks!" would be a cartoony black comedy or some kind of thrilling sci-fi movie, but to understand how the film really works, just drop the exclamation point. Mars attacks - so what?
As with any alien invasion story, this film sets up its framework by showing characters all over the country who are somehow connected. Of course numerous sub-plots are established, but since this is a satire we're not asked to take much of anything seriously.
First there's Jack Nicholson who seems depressed playing the role of President Dale - probably because Dale is the calmest character he's ever played. Dale's staff is made up of generic characters including Pierce Brosnan as Donald Kessler, a scientist who tells the president not to panic when Martians surround Earth. Not surprisingly there's also the bossy, hyperactive general who keeps saying we should "nuke 'em!" (this routine is so old and unfunny it's almost sad). There's also Martin Short as White House Press Secretary Jerry Ross who does his typical spiel (enough said). In fact, it's really not worth mentioning all the characters here because there are so many of them and they're all boring, familiar caricatures. They're meant to be zany but the atmosphere is so dull nothing seems witty enough to be funny.
It takes over a half hour before any real action takes place, and although the special effects are fantastic, they don't do much to save the lame screenplay. The Martians are weird-looking aliens who blast humans with ray guns and quack like ducks. It's obvious their malevolence is a parody of aliens in films like these, but the film doesn't go far enough to make them the funny cartoons they are meant to be. Remember how the evil "Gremlins" had individual personalities? That should happen here, but doesn't. And even when this is attempted, it doesn't really work.
This movie probably wasn't intended to be just a live-action cartoon and/or a spoof of sci-fi movies, it's meant to be a humorous political statement through satire. Burton attempts to make some themes about the obsession of the media, but he doesn't nearly utilize the potential. After the halfway point, the film is just small chunks of pointless scenes meant to be funny but aren't. For example: the rednecks with guns who say, "They're not taking the TV," or the hotel mogul Art Land (Nicholson again) who says, "Even aliens gotta sleep somewhere."
"Mars Attacks!" is like a glass of flat soda where the taste is still there, but there's no pep to it. The same thing happens here - it's a film with an all-star cast, and a story that should be easy to satirize, but everybody seems too bored to make an effort.
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e-mail: ChadPolenz@aol.com (C) 1997 Chad Polenz
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