MARS ATTACKS! (1996) A Film Review by Ted Prigge Copyright 1997 Ted Prigge
Director: Tim Burton Writers: Jonathan Gems and Tim Burton (based on the trading cards) Starring: Jack Nicholson (twice), Glen Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Benning, Rod Steiger, Lucas Haas, Natalie Portman, Martin Short, Jim Brown, Pam Grier, Michael J. Fox, Sarah Jessica Parker, Tom Jones, Sylvia Sydney, Joe Don Baker, Lisa Marie, Danny DeVito, Christina Applegate
Back before this came out, I was proclaiming that without a shadow of a doubt that Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks!" was to be the "Dr. Strangelove" of the 90s. I mean, the previews looked like it would be hysterical, cartoonish, and even contain some good old Kubrickian satire. So much for hype.
"Mars Attacks!" was probably the biggest let-down since the second season of "Twin Peaks." I mean, no, it's not a bad movie, and yeah, it's pretty much over-bashed (even Kevin Smith said his "Mallrats" wasn't nearly as bad as this - I kinda disagreed). But all I wanted was some good laughs and some satire. Yes, it suceeds in spoofing disaster flicks, which have been waning as of late (sob), but it's just not that funny.
Based on some ultra-violent collecting cards from the 50s (the most original source I've heard in recent memory), the film tells the story of aliens arriving from, well, Mars, and giving a kind of neutral message to earthlings. Scientist Pierce Brosnan says they're intelligent, and just want to chill with us. General Rod Steiger (not his real title) is convinced they're more belligerent than those aliens in "Starship Troopers," and we should just nuke them. President Jack Nicholson (again, not his real title) seems to be just confused.
After about a half hour or so of unfunny jokes, we FINALLY get to the first meetings with the aliens. In a brilliantly executed scene, the part-Woodstock/part-military peace mission turns into a gorefest, with the aliens shooting everyone in sight with these weird ray guns, which ignite people into skeletons. Another meeting to see if it was a "mistake" (since a dove was the catalyst in the aliens' anger) results in another one. The second one (which was in the great previews) isn't nearly as funny as the first one, but things take off from here.
Now, if you've seen enough disaster flicks, you know that the most interesting part is not really the special effects, but the wildly eccentric amount of characters we get to know. From Shelley Winters as a diver in "The Poseidon Adventure" to the hapless Fred Aistaire in "The Towering Inferno" to, well, Randy Quaid in "Independence Day," the film rests on the characters...or, sorry, characateurs. And we get some funny ones, and some boring ones, but none wacky enough for the film.
To also staying with disaster pic spoofing, the film intercuts between several locations, including Vegas, the government (and the "Dr. Strangelove"-esque war room, although hardly as menacing), a hick town, and even the alien ship. And we, of course, get the wide variety of wacky and eccentric chracters that congregated in the disaster epics, and subsequently died, so we could all get off on a big star (like Charlton Heston) dying.
But when it ends, and you feel violated. I mean, the previews were probably the best of the season, in ways of how cool they made the movie look. But, really, the film isn't nearly as funny as they were. Most of the funny jokes are in the previews (how rare!). But when the aliens turn up, it's pretty enjoyable. Also, the film kind of cheated us with prayers of satire. Not only is the word "nuke" tossed around as much as "commie" was in Dr. Strangelove, and Nicholson has two roles (one less than Sellars did in "Strangelove"), but it arrived in the wake of the "ID4" phenomenon, promising to crack the hell out of it. And when that didn't deliver, I felt a tad let-down, to say the least.
In short, "Mars Attacks!" may be Tim Burton's worst flick, but it's not THAT bad. But it could have been so much more. Oh well. "Superman Lives" comes out soon.
MY RATING (out of 4): **1/2
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