EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX (BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK) (1972) A Film Review by Ted Prigge Copyright 1997 Ted Prigge
Director: Woody Allen Writer: Woody Allen (from the book by David Reuben) Starring: Woody Allen, Louise Lasser, Lynn Redgrave, Gene Wilder, Tony Randall, Burt Reynolds, John Carridine, Regis Philbin, Lou Jacobi
Many people know about the popular book, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)," which was a straight-forward sex book (obviously), and this is the basis for the film. However, this is not some striaght-forward outline of the book (just picture Woody demonstrating sodomy on some chick like Louise Lasser or Diane Keaton - sorry for the imagery). Instead, this is a collection of short films, very, very, very loosely based on some of the chapters from the book, each taking a concept from a specific chapter, and going totally crazy with it.
I will rate each of the little films individually and make some kind of average for the whole film. So here we go:
1. "Do Aphrodisiacs Work?" - In this hysterically comical film that gets funnier by the second, Woody plays a really bad court jester who becomes obsessed with his queen (Lynn Redgrave), and gets an aphrodisiac so he can get to know her a little better (nudge nudge). Things get complicated, some things don't go as planned (although some do), and we get a hilarious finale. Woody's one-liners are perfect here (especially in the intentionally bad joke-laden beginning, and the spoof of "Hamlet" - "T.B. or not T.B, that is the conjestion..."), and he's at his funniest acting, which is not a shock. The little film moves quickly, and is paced near perfectly. So...
MY RATING (out of 4): ****
2. "What is Sodomy?" - This could have been a one-joke premise, but thanks to the writing, it only gets funnier. But it's just not as good as the first one. This one stars Gene Wilder (doing some of his manic funniest as the film goes on) as a family doctor who falls in love with a sheep. Hence, sodomy (use your randy imagination). The film includes such little jokes as asking for grass at a hotel ("No, real grass"), the sheep wearing garters, and the brilliantly done ending where Gene weeps for his long-lost love by drinking Woolite.
MY RATING (out of 4): ***
3. "Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm?" - Done all in Italian with sub-titles, this one is about a swinger (Woody) who marries a beautiful woman (Louise Lasser, from "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" and his "Bananas"), but finds that she can never achieve an orgasm with him...until he finds out she has a fetish for public sex. It's deifinitely not the funniest film, and doesn't end the perfect way, but sure knows how to be clever, and, well, it's hilarious. And the Italian works.
MY RATING (out of 4): ***
4. "Are Transvestites Homosexuals?" - Not involving Woody again, this one centers around a middle-aged couple who go over to their future in-laws for supper, but the husband of the visiting family (Lou Jacobi) goes upstairs to the foreign bedroom to indulge in his big fetish: transvestitism. But while parading around in women's clothes, he's almost caught, and has to flee the house, cover up his moustache, talk in high falsetto, and try to figure out how to get back inside without being noticed. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen, and only gets funnier as it moves on with good pacing.
MY RATING (out of 4): ***1/2
5. "What are Sex Perverts?" - Funny skit is probably the only disappointing one here, even though it's funny. The film, shot on purposely bad film, shows an episode of a very liberal game show (in black and white, no less) called "What's Your Perversion?," feautring guests who come on and are asked questons by a panel (including Regis Philbin - not even kidding) who try to come up with the guest's fetish. It never really goes anywhere, but is still hilarious.
MY RATING (out of 4): **1/2
6. "Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?" (almost longer than the title) - Uneven but undeniably hysterical little vignette about a sex scholar (guess who? okay, it's Woody) who goes to the mansion of a famous sexual doctor (John Carridine) with a journalist to interview him on his various and contreversial sexual explorations. Turns out the guy's a mad scientist who's doing such bizarre things as pumping a woman full of silicone, and doing the old cliche of switching brains. Also, he has an Igorian servent who's hunchbacked only because the doctor gave him a prolonged orgasm (through an experiment). But this film switches identity, and when the doctor's house is burned down by the scholar and the journalist (long story), what emerges and wreaks havoc on the countryside is...(eerie music) a gigantic breast. How they catch it is classic. So is the sketch.
MY RATING (out of 4): ***1/2
7. "What Happens During Ejaculation?" - The hands-down most brilliant and funniest sketch, ending it on a great note, this little film deals with the inner-workings of the brain during sex. Inside all the specific body parts are little people, working their asses off to help create sex. In the brain is "Mission Control," with Tony Randal as the cheif and Burt Reynolds as a switchboard man (with the classic Reynolds line "Proceed with erection; all systems go."), and as a sperm is (big shock) Woody, as the most insecure of them all ("What if he's masturbating? I'll end up on the wall!") It only gets funnier and funnier and funniet, and is paced beautifully, with little problems jumping in at just the right time (a saboteur of the mission turns out to be a little inner priest). With great acting, great writing, and, well, some cool sets and special effects (for a 70s comedy), we get a perfect way to end the movie, and one of Woody's funniest pieces of work.
MY RATING (out of 4): ****
So, "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)" is a hilarious movie, made just for the twisted neurotic fans of Mr. Allen AND people who love great sketch comedy that isn't afraid to insult and outrage. Yes, it has its peaks and valleys, but overall, it's a fantastic piece of comedy, and a great film to watch.
AVERAGE RATING (out of 4): ***1/2
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