KISS THE GIRLS 1997
A film review by Timothy Voon
Copyright 1997 Timothy Voon
5 :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( for Casanova de la Sade
Cast: Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd, Cary Elwes, Tony Goldwyn, Jay O. Sanders, Bill Nunn, Brian Cox, Alex McArthur, Richard T. Jones, Jeremy Piven, William Converse-Roberts, Gina Ravera Director: Gary Fleder Screenplay: David Klass, based on the novel by James Patterson
If a movie contains mostly kidnapped girls, dead corpses, cops and a psychopathic rapist known as Casanova, who are the prime suspects? I'll give you a clue. It's not the ones in the morgue, its not the ones in chains, its not the ones who need to lower the toilet seats to pee, so I guess that leaves the ones who have a "Johnny", and like donuts and coffee.
Not only does our Casanova have time to imprison his kidnapped girls in a prison cell Harem, he has time to feed them home made sandwiches with lettuce, ham and tomato, nicely sliced down the centre gourmet style. This rapist who likes lots of sex, also has time to hold down a full time job, write beautiful cursive on bulletin boards, and communicate with others of his type on the Internet.
So I'll give you a quick run down on how I would have captured this rapist without much ado fuss. I would have surfed the Net, browsed News Groups like alt.sex.bondage, matched those subscribing to the group to the vicinity of the missing girls - and Wella a suspect! It sure beats having to find some unheard of Benzodiazepine drug in the MIMS.
Other annoying factors. The only victim to escape from Casanova is a female doctor (Ashley Judd) who nearly loses her life in the process. 24 hours after being certified fit to leave the hospital, she's up moseying about the woods where she nearly died without any worries. Next she's gallivanting around town looking for the killer, trying not to be conspicuous, but wearing exactly the same hair style when first eyed by her rapist.
Equally annoying is the violin player (Gina Ravera) victim who plays Bach for her tormentor to hear. Not only does she play the music beautifully her performance is almost flawless. After being repeatedly raped one would imagine that it would have some dampening effect on her musical ability, no matter how talented. When rescued, her Uncle (Morgan Freeman) gives her back the same violin with new strings. She smiles at takes the instrument happily. One would have thought that this instrument is the last thing this girl would want to see, when it serves as a constant reminder of her abuse.
Most annoying of all we have eight girls dressed in lovely black silk dresses, sitting in a circle as Casanova walks around the room fondling them. Considering they are unchained, eight females should have no problems overcoming a single male. Sure they've been psychologically beaten into submission, but sooner or later the "battered wife" syndrome is bound to emerge, and believe me any one of them could have the strength to kill the bastard.
As for Morgan Freeman, this is the stupidest role I have seen him in. His character is non-objective, renegade and too maverick for a police psychiatrist. It's surprising that his dumb actions didn't get him killed in the movie. I mean what does a doctor know about shooting guns, entering the enemy camp virtually alone, unassisted and without backup? Then again all the doctors in this movie are presented as moronic persons - they are either raped, bungling investigations, drugging girls, or collecting their feet.
If you wanted to watch something of this genre worth while, see Silence of the Lambs again. The only thing "Kiss the Girls" will leave you with is a recurrent case of cold sores.
Timothy Voon e-mail: stirling@netlink.com.au
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