STARSHIP TROOPERS *1/2 (out of four) a review by Bill Chambers
starring Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Michael Ironside, Denise Richards screenplay by Edward Neumeier, based on Robert A. Heinlein's novel directed by Paul Verhoeven
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Guilt. Guilt is something I felt while watching Basic Instinct for the ninth time; the penultimate T & A thriller, Basic Instinct made my last few teenage years worth living. But I know so well that it's a terrible film, made by a terrible director incapable of feeling guilt. Verhoeven went on to make the even more offensive Showgirls and, on November seventh, 1997, unleashed Starship Troopers to innocent moviegoers like me, who cannot control the urge to see giant bug movies.
The pic begins with the most unintentional laugh of the year. A simple, white on black title card reads "Starship Troopers"-my friends and I speculated that the night before the prints were shipped, Verhoeven realized he forgot the credits. Is this how a hundred million dollar movie should open?
Were the rest of the film that subdued... Starship Troopers is about a group of white, blond-haired himbos and bimbos who all have Spanish last names. They graduate high school, join the military, and then, rather curiously, decide to travel to an alien planet and destroy all lifeforms on that planet. The story is so incomprehensible, and told so bombastically, it's akin to 129 minutes of someone screaming punishments at you in a foreign tongue. (Aside, club lovers will be happy to know that dance music hasn't changed in the future.)
One plus: Starship Troopers contains some very funny sequences, specifically the newsreels of the future. Hysterically funny, actually. But the cynicism of these reports left me curious as to whether Verhoeven felt pessimistic about the story in between. The storytelling lacks focus, to say the least.
The politics of the film are scary. The actions of the major female characters are dictated by their out-of-control libidos. There's even a creepy sex scene: the lovely Dina Meyer makes out, nude, with the sickening Van Dien while half her face is covered by her opaque sweater, just the way he seems to like it. I use the term sickening because Van Dien is the least appealing actor I've encountered in a big budget picture; all chiseled features and machismo, he even barks a eulogy at a funeral like military orders. Of course, Verhoeven's probably the one to blame, and perhaps I'm jealous because I'm so disgusting.
At any rate, a movie called Starship Troopers shouldn't be about sex. Exactly ten years ago, Verhoeven made Robocop, which was about nothing but skillfully made and oddly moving. And R-rated, despite its goofy premise. Maybe it's asking too much for Verhoeven to make a PG-movie, then-he's a master of insipid violence. However, ten year old boys would adore Starship Troopers if they could see it.
I didn't.
I have repented.
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