Kiss the Girls (1997)

reviewed by
Mike Watson


REVIEW: KISS THE GIRLS (1997)
A film review by Mike Watson
Copyright 1997 Mike Watson
Rating: 1 out of 5

Come on Hollywood, surprise me. Stop giving us these poorly written thrillers with banal dialogue, sketchy characters and plots as predictable as the sunset.

The always watchable Morgan Freeman plays a detective who becomes personally involved in a case involving missing girls. Personal, because his niece is one of the victims. It's a slobbering psychopath, of course, but this time there's a twist. Freeman notes that each of the young women who've disappeared are all strong willed, assertive, and more successful in their careers than the average girl. We soon learn that the guy calls himself Casanova, whose aim is to "dominate" these modern gals by imprisoning them in some dungeon and keeping them as his personal harem. Anyway, one of the women manages to escape (Ashly Judd) and teams up with Freeman to...well, you know the rest.

A brief glance at the plot to SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, with which this film is constantly being compared to by the hype merchants, may suggest LAMBS also has a fairly predictable story. Perhaps, but that film also has superbly drawn characters and smart dialogue. So lets not insult a great movie by taking the comparisons any further, okay? And as for comparisons to SEVEN...oh please!

KISS THE GIRLS is based on the novel by James Patterson and written for the screen by one David Klass. Maybe the novel was a stinker to start with, but whatever the case, it's the writing that's clearly at fault here. One, these characters have very little to say that's engaging or interesting. Two, the script has no sense of humour. Three, while the notion of a psycho's victims being smart, successful women is an interesting twist, the execution isn't even half as good as the idea. Thus, Ashly Judd comes across all out of focus, instead of being the heart of the story. We can't feel her rage. Some atrociously written casual exchanges between her and several male characters are supposed to remind us that she's the no-bullshit 90's type, but these conversations barely register.

And as for Freeman, KISS THE GIRLS is his second dog in a year: first CHAIN REACTION, now this. For an actor of his calibre, this is most worrying.

Young director Gary Fleder scored a hit a few years back with his quirky Pulp Fiction-esque THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOUR DEAD. But what can he do with material as resolutely mediocre as this? Not much, and you can hardly blame him. There's a few well-staged chase scenes through the forest where the camera whirls, dives and jumps, and the effect is startling. But the script is beyond rescue. What hurts most is that Hollywood continues to get away with serving up this tripe, safe in the knowledge that jaded audiences will lap it up. Complacency rules: it's been so long since we saw a mainstream American thriller that delivered juicy characters, real surprises and consistently sharp dialogue.

The only consolation for this viewer is that my ticket to the movie was a freebie, positive proof that the best things in life AREN'T free.... .


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